As the saying goes, if you marry someone, don't marry a smooth hammer; if you marry someone, don't marry a tiger thorn plum. What do smooth hammer and tiger thorn plum mean？

　　Marriage is never about two people, but about two families. Therefore, in ancient times, marriage was based on "parents' orders and matchmakers' words", which was decided by both parents. In this way, the two families can get along more harmoniously.

　　As for marriage, the ancients also summed up their views, such as "marry without a smooth hammer, and marry without a thorn plum."

　　What do this "smooth hammer" and "tiger thorn plum" mean respectively? Why can't the former marry and the latter can't?

　　Rogue gangsters, not a good match

　　Let's talk about this "smooth hammer" first. This word is not from Chinese, but transliterated from Henan dialect. In the context of Henan dialect, the smooth hammer refers to those gangsters who are idle and wandering around the streets.

　　For example, Niu Er in Water Margin is a typical street bum. He mainly extorts money from others.

　　Niu Er was originally born in a fairly wealthy family, but he fell in the later family. Therefore, Niu Er experienced the gap from the rich to the poor. Because the gap in his heart could not be relieved, he came to the street to play with a group of gangsters.

　　In addition, because his parents let him go, it also made him more rebellious. Niu Er began to make trouble in the street, trying to make others fear himself in this way, so that he can continue to have a feeling of "being above".

　　It is written in the book that Niu Er once wanted to collect protection fees from shops in the eastern capital, and some merchants were afraid that entanglement with him would affect their business, so they would hand in protection fees with both hands. But there are still some merchants who don't want to eat this loss, so they sue Niu Er to the government.

　　Unexpectedly, Niu Er not only didn't worry about being imprisoned, but also made a scene in the government, even the county magistrate couldn't help him.

　　For women in ancient times, they married to seek a stable protection place. If they married a ruffian like Niu Er who made trouble all day, their married life would be even more hopeless.

　　Beautiful appearance, vicious heart.

　　So, what is "thorn plum"? This was originally the name of a plant, and its flower language was "stubborn and loyal, gentle and loyal". Moreover, the thorn plum can also produce lovely delicate and exquisite flowers.

　　If it's a woman referred to by this plant, it shouldn't be so bad, so why do you say you can't marry?

　　Although the flower language of Rosa davurica is beautiful, it is a plant with sharp thorns, and the juice contained in its stems and leaves is poisonous. Therefore, the women who are compared to the thorn plum are all women with beautiful appearance, dark heart and no virtue.

　　In the eyes of the ancients, if you marry such a woman, your backyard home will be restless. Let's take Water Margin as an example. Pan Jinlian in the book is a typical woman with a thorn plum.

　　The beauty of Pan Jinlian should be needless to say. Ximen Qing was fascinated by her mind at a glance, and it is hard to extricate herself.

　　The author also described her face, "The face is like a peach blossom in March, which hides the amorous feelings of the moon ... The jade looks enchanting and fragrant."

　　Therefore, Pan Jinlian also has a beautiful appearance like the tiger thorn plum, but Pan Jinlian's heart is very restless, and there is also a cruel and dark side.

　　Pan Jinlian used to be a maid of a large family, but she resisted the man who molested her. Therefore, in a rage, the man married her to Wu Dalang, who was short and ugly. In Pan Jinlian's mind, she is extremely dissatisfied with this marriage.

　　So, after she met Ximen Qing, who was handsome, young and rich, she was tempted. Moreover, this Ximen Qing can also coax Pan Jinlian into doing whatever he wants with sweet words, so the adultery happened.

　　Then, Pan Jinlian dreamed of being a loving couple with Ximen Qing for a long time, and was afraid that the adultery would be broken by Wu Dalang. In order to get rid of the scourge of Wu Dalang, she sent a bowl of poison. This is the scene of "Dalang drinking medicine" in Water Margin.

　　For Wu Dalang, Pan Jinlian is this thorn plum. Although the appearance is beautiful, the heart is very vicious. Do whatever it takes to get what you want.

　　Choose a lover carefully.

　　Sima Qian wrote in "Historical Records" that "everything prospers at home". According to the ancients, only when family members live in harmony and care for each other can this family be built well.

　　In addition, only after maintaining the stability of one's small family can one cultivate one's morality, govern the country and level the world. If one can't even settle down one's own family, the ancients will think that it is difficult for him to take on a big responsibility.

　　For a family, marriage is the foundation, and a stable relationship between husband and wife is the most basic relationship of a family. With this relationship as a base, other relationships can be developed on this basis.

　　Therefore, although ancient times paid attention to "husband as a wife", under this condition, the ancients also thought that as a husband, they should also be considerate of their wives. This is why the story of Liang Hong and his wife Meng Guang's case against Qi Mei was regarded as a beautiful talk in ancient society.

　　But if you want a harmonious and stable family, you need to be extra cautious when choosing your other half. For women, never marry a rogue; For men, they are not willing to marry a beautiful woman.

　　Once the "smooth hammer" or "tiger thorn plum" is selected, it will add disharmony to the family. Therefore, in order to avoid such problems, the ancients summed up the saying "marry without a smooth hammer, and marry without a tiger thorn plum".

　　It can also be seen from this sentence that the ancients attached great importance to marriage, so they would try their best to avoid possible risks in marriage.