Refusing to buy a house for my son in full, I became what my son called a selfish mother.

　　House slave is a new Chinese word and a true portrayal of many young people. Rising house prices have made young people say that they can't afford to buy a house. However, it is also a true portrayal of marriage that you can't get married without a house. In order to solve their lifelong problems, people have to choose a loan to buy a house, bite the bullet and save money for next month.

　　A year ago, my cousin and brother-in-law saved enough down payment to own their own new house. In order to repay the loan, my cousin and brother-in-law have to spend more than 6 thousand yuan every month, and with the money needed to raise their children, their life pressure suddenly becomes greater. However, in the face of such pressure, my cousin still does not regret her decision to buy a house.

　　"Without a house, there is no root in this city, and there is no sense of security in my heart; Without a house, children's education can't be guaranteed, which is not conducive to their growth. Besides, we couldn't save money. With a mortgage, we can force ourselves not to spend money indiscriminately. "

　　Buying a house is not only a task for young people, but also a mountain that weighs on parents. For most young people, not to mention buying a house in full, even the down payment is difficult for them to make up by themselves, so they naturally need to ask their parents for help.

　　In the eyes of many young people, it is parents' obligation to buy a house for themselves and get married. If parents have enough money, they should take it out and buy a house for themselves in full, so that they don't have to bear the pressure of mortgage after marriage. If parents refuse to solve the house problem for themselves, they are too selfish to be parents.

　　However, do parents really have the obligation to buy a house for their children? Recently, 55-year-old Miao Ayi encountered such a problem.

　　For the convenience of narration and reading, I will tell Aunt Miao's experience in the first person.

　　01. After 26 years of hard work, my son is about to get married.

　　Twenty-six years ago, my son was born. He is my second child and the only one who survived.

　　After the son was born, he became the baby of the family and was held in the palm of our family's hand to spoil and grow up. In order to earn money for my son's education, my husband and I left home, went to work in coastal cities to earn money, and left my son to my grandparents to take care of.

　　Because I have been away from my son for a long time, I feel very guilty and love my son very much. Even if my son does something wrong, my husband and I can't bear to be harsh. Fortunately, although my son grew up under the love of his family, he did not grow up long. He was successfully admitted to the university and got a job after graduation. Although the income is not high, it is not a problem to support yourself.

　　Six months ago, my son came back with a girl to meet my husband and me and told me that this was my future daughter-in-law.

　　02. My son's girlfriend took a fancy to a 1 million wedding room and asked us to buy a house.

　　I was very satisfied with the girl, agreed to the marriage, and began to discuss their marriage with her parents. At this time, the woman made a request, that is, to have her own wedding room.

　　My son's girlfriend has taken a fancy to a house in the city where they work. The geographical location is good and the transportation is convenient. It costs one million yuan to buy it in full, and if you pay the down payment, it will be around 300 thousand.

　　I can understand that marriage requires buying a house. After all, young people certainly don't want to live in the country with us old couple. Therefore, I promised to buy them a house.

　　03. I want to pay my son a down payment, but my son insists that I buy it in full, and the mother and son break up in discord;

　　According to my idea, I will pay the down payment to my son, and write the names of my son and daughter-in-law on the property certificate as a gift from the parents of the man to the woman. As for the mortgage, the young couple will be responsible for repaying it.

　　However, my son listened to my arrangement and insisted on opposing my loan to buy a house for him: "If we buy a house with a loan, Lily and I need to spend at least half of our salary to pay back the loan, and the remaining half is not enough for us at all." Buying a house with a loan will reduce our quality of life. Besides, don't you have money? Why not buy me a full house? "

　　A few years ago, our house was demolished, and we got a sum of money for demolition. Together with the savings left by my parents-in-law and my wife and I, we can really raise one million yuan for the house. However, I don't want to buy a house for my son in full for three reasons.

　　First of all, if I buy a house in full, whose name should I write? If my name is written, will my daughter-in-law think that we are wary of her? If I write the names of my son and daughter-in-law, I have accumulated this money with my wife for most of my life, and I am unwilling;

　　Secondly, I know my son's ability. He is a proper moonlight family and has always refused to work hard to make money. If you give him a loan to buy a house, in order to repay the mortgage, he will have to make progress and will not feel at ease;

　　Finally, my wife and I are in poor health and need to leave some money for a rainy day. It's good that my son can take care of himself. It's unrealistic to expect him to give us money to support the elderly and see a doctor.

　　04. Refusing to buy a house for my son in full, I became a selfish mother in my son's mouth.

　　After listening to my words, my son not only didn't understand my painstaking efforts, but also made a scene at home, calling me an extremely selfish mother and threatening "I won't recognize you if you don't buy me a house in full." Your money was mine, so why don't you give it to me? "Then I ran back to the city in a fit of pique.

　　Now, my son's girlfriend also called me and asked me to buy a house in full, otherwise she would break up. My son came to see me several times and made me feel miserable.

　　When people around me learned about this, they persuaded me to stick to my own practice, not to spend all my money on my son, and to leave a way out for my old age. Therefore, I feel very confused. Should I buy a house for my son in full? Am I really selfish?

　　As an adult with hands and feet, please don't pass on your responsibilities to your parents.

　　55-year-old mother's "crying": refusing to buy a house for her son in full, being scolded for being selfish, am I wrong?

　　In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with Aunt Miao's practice. As a mother, she is already very qualified and has nothing to do with selfishness.

　　Are parents obliged to buy a house for their children? The answer is clear, no. Not to mention paying the full amount, parents are not even obliged to give their children a down payment for buying a house.

　　According to the regulations, parents' obligation to support their children ends when their children reach the age of 18. Before their children reach the age of 18, they have no ability to support themselves, and they need to be taken care of and cared for by their parents. When children reach the age of 18, they are adults, so they should be responsible for their own lives and should not continue to eat old people. At this time, parents help you because of their deep affection, and it is their duty not to help you.

　　As an adult with hands and feet, please don't pass on your responsibilities to your parents.

　　Getting married is your own task, and you must rely on your own skills. A capable person will work hard to make money before getting married and get ready for marriage. Parents are willing to help them relieve their financial pressure. They will know how to appreciate their parents, remember their kindness, understand their parents' difficulties, and will not use the obligation to provide for their parents' old age as a tool to threaten their parents.

　　Raising children is your task, and you can't just pass it on to your parents. For many old people, retirement doesn't mean that they have been freed, and it doesn't mean that they can be carefree. Many children will treat their parents as free nannies, and pass on the obligation to take care of their children to their parents, and even feel that it is a matter of course for the elderly to take care of their children. In fact, taking care of children is an obligation of parents, which cannot be passed on.

　　As an adult with hands and feet, we should know how to stand on our own feet, have a grateful heart, rely on our own efforts and diligence to solve the problems in life, and be filial to our parents. Parents do their best for you, and you should also have a grateful heart and a harmonious family, so that everything can flourish.

　　Today's topic: Do you think it is necessary for parents to save money for their old age? Welcome to share your opinions in the comments section.