The 29-year-old Phoenix man doesn't regret breaking up： ＂I quit my job to take care of my mother, and she deserves to marry me？＂

　　Let me ask you a question. When your old man is sick and needs someone to take care of him, who contributes the most?

　　I remember that when my grandfather was dying, besides my grandmother, there were three uncles and my mother. As for my aunts, my aunt was responsible for delivering meals, my second aunt was responsible for running errands, and my third aunt continued to accompany my daughter and take care of my second aunt's children. After my grandfather died, because my uncle was the richest, my uncle paid the most funeral expenses, and my uncle and my little uncle were responsible for handling things. Because of the clear division of labor, there was no contradiction.

　　My grandmother is ill in hospital, and both my two daughters-in-law and my elder sister-in-law take turns to serve. My father's task with my uncle is limited to running errands, because my grandmother is a good mother-in-law and has been recognized by her two daughters-in-law.

　　Gorky once said: "Marriage is the combination of two people's spirits, and the purpose is to overcome all the difficulties and hardships in the world together."

　　Taking care of parents is the responsibility of children, not their spouses, and children should bear the brunt. When children are in trouble, spouses have time and energy, and they can also help them. Only husband and wife Qi Xin can solve the problem better.

　　However, mutual help between husband and wife should be based on mutual understanding and willingness, instead of one party throwing away the pot for filial piety and comfort, forcing the spouse to sacrifice himself to fulfill his filial piety. This is not called filial piety, but selfishness. It is also difficult for such people to make their spouses willing to pay for it, and it is difficult to keep their love and marriage.

　　However, people who base their happiness and comfort on their spouse's pain often don't realize their mistakes. The first reaction after being rejected is not that their behavior is inappropriate, but that the other party doesn't love themselves and is not filial.

　　For example, Fang Rui, 29, is such a person. Until now, he still blames his ex-fiancee for the failure of his marriage and thinks that the other party is not worthy of him at all.

　　Fang Rui didn't regret breaking up on his own initiative at all, but also plausibly said: "I quit my job to take care of my mother, and she deserves to marry me?"

　　01. Let my parents live a good life and stop suffering, which is also a great motivation for me to study hard;

　　Phoenix man is a big label on Fang Rui.

　　Fang Rui's father used to earn money by farming to support his family, but his income was meager and unsustainable, so he had to go to work in the city. Fang Rui's mother had a dystocia when she gave birth to her son. Although her life was worry-free, she was sickly, so she had to take care of her son at home, grow some vegetables and fruits, and take care of her grandparents to make life easier for the family.

　　Fang Rui's parents have high hopes for their son, hoping that he can study hard, get ahead and let the whole family live a good life.

　　"Whenever my mother is sick and can't get up and down in the hospital bed, my grandparents and grandparents will tell me about the danger when my mother gave birth to me, so I must be filial to my mother. This is for sure."

　　Let parents live a good life and stop suffering, which is also a great motivation for Fang Rui to study hard. Fang Rui lived up to his parents' expectations and was admitted to a good university.

　　When he was in college, Fang Rui began to share the pressure for his parents. He refused to ask his parents for money, but relied on part-time jobs and scholarships to solve his living expenses. He also went to work as an intern during the winter and summer vacations, which made many people envy his parents.

　　In the third year of graduation, Fang Rui used his savings to buy a house for his parents in the county and took them to live in the county.

　　"When you marry a wife, you must buy a house in a big city. At that time, buy a big one and take my parents to live together." This is the idea that Fang Rui never refuses to change, and it is also the bottom line of his mate selection.

　　02. Although I am not satisfied with her, my mother is satisfied and can make do with it.

　　Living with parents after marriage is Fang Rui's bottom line. Because of this bottom line and his status as a Phoenix man, Fang Rui has repeatedly hit a wall in marriage.

　　Since he went to college, Fang Rui has tried to express himself and pursue some girls with good family circumstances and little burden who can help him improve his life. However, he was either laughed at by others for wanting to eat swan meat, or conquered the girl's heart, but was beaten by the other party.

　　I finally talked about it, took it home to meet my parents, and came to this step of talking about marriage, and fell out for Fang Rui's bottom line. The woman refused to spare some money to buy a big house, let alone to bring her in-laws to live with her.

　　Until last year, Fang Rui was 29 years old and had not solved the lifelong event. Fang Rui's parents felt very anxious and entrusted people everywhere to introduce their sons.

　　At the beginning of this year, Fang Rui was introduced and met his former fiancee Xiaoya.

　　"To be honest, I am not satisfied with her. Like me, her parents have no social security, and they have to rely on us to provide for the elderly in the future. The pressure is not small. However, my mother is very satisfied. She thinks that after all, she is an only child and does not need to help her brother. Her parents are in good health and are still working, so she will not burden us too early. She also said that I have passed the age of being picky. I can't help it, just marry it according to my mother's meaning! "

　　In the end, Fang Rui and Xiaoya discussed it and set the bride price at 66 thousand, and the wedding date was set in mid-March.

　　After the marriage was finalized, Fang Rui had a worry. Unexpectedly, just after the New Year, Fang Rui's mother became ill and had an operation.

　　03. Let her wait on the prospective mother-in-law. What's the use of such a daughter-in-law?

　　Fang Rui's mother is sickly, and it is very common to be ill and hospitalized. Whenever her mother is ill and hospitalized, Fang Rui will spend money to hire a nurse to take care of her. After all, he needs to be busy at work, and his father has no patience to take care of the patients.

　　However, this time, Fang Rui didn't want to hire a care worker, but made a request with his fiancee Xiaoya, hoping Xiaoya would take care of them, on the grounds that they were all getting married. Xiaoya was her mother's daughter-in-law, and it was her job to take care of her mother-in-law.

　　Xiaoya has ended her holiday and started to work, so she declined Fang Rui on the grounds that she could not take a vacation. To Xiaoya's surprise and anger, Fang Rui forced her to resign.

　　"Work is gone, you can find another one! Besides, you don't have to continue working. I earn nearly 400 thousand a year. Can't I afford a wife? In the future, if you want to have children and take care of my parents, how can you have time to go out to work? "

　　Fang Rui said that as long as Xiaoya is willing to resign as a full-time wife, he can give Xiaoya 10,000 yuan a month as family expenses, but Xiaoya resolutely refused.

　　Fang Rui felt very angry. After several attempts to persuade him, he lost his patience and threatened to break up and break off his marriage. Three hours later, Xiaoya gave a reply and agreed to return the bride price and cancel the marriage.

　　"Let her wait on the prospective mother-in-law. What's the use of such a daughter-in-law? My mother is in poor health, so I have to take her to live with me and find a woman who is willing to put family first and take care of my mother. Otherwise, I would be too unfilial. "

　　After Xiaoya agreed to break off her engagement, she returned the bride price in full, blacked out Fang Rui quickly, and Fang Rui did not regret it and continued her blind date.

　　04. Don't talk nonsense, just stay away from the person who is filial piety but wants to throw the pot at you.

　　As the saying goes, men are afraid of getting into the wrong line and women are afraid of marrying the wrong man. In fact, both men and women are afraid of marrying someone who is not suitable for them.

　　As the writer anna quindlen said: "The most important decision in life is not where to settle down, nor in which line to make a living, but what kind of person to choose and walk the rest of life hand in hand."

　　Marriage, for a woman, is equivalent to a second reincarnation. Getting married means that you have to leave your original family, leave the warm embrace of your parents, form a new family with men, manage this small family well, and deal with strange environment.

　　Everything is difficult at the beginning, so if you make a mistake at the beginning, for example, if you install something, the first step is wrong, can you get back on track? The same is true of marriage.

　　What should you do if you find that the person you love doesn't meet your expectations at all and you love the wrong person? At this point, you must stick to your bottom line and don't give in easily. If love or marriage is really hopeless, you must have the courage to give up decisively.

　　As Lu Sihao wrote in "May someone accompany you to drift from place to place": In any case, you can't lower your bottom line again and again, not for dreams or love. Once you lower the bottom line that you originally regarded as a principle, you will find that you can give up some other things, and you will give up more later.

　　In the face of people who are filial piety but want to throw the pot at you, don't talk nonsense, just stay away early. Reasoning with people who never know how to think of others is like casting pearls before swine. Why waste your breath and energy and make yourself angry and futile?

　　Today's topic: Do you think Fang Rui's request is too much? Welcome to share your opinions in the comments section.