A 47-year-old mother wants a second child. Son： ＂Did you give me a younger brother or a son？＂

　　After the movie "My Sister" became a hit, it not only won more praise and affirmation for Zifeng Zhang's acting skills, but also set off a discussion about the long-standing social problem of having a second child in middle age.

　　Since the liberalization of the second child policy, whether to have a second child has become an unavoidable topic for many families. It is normal to have a second child when you are rich, well-off, have someone to take care of your children, love your husband and wife, and are of the right age. However, some parents are not qualified to have a second child, but they only care about their own feelings and thoughts and want to have another child.

　　After the birth of the second child, these parents with low economic level and inability to take care of the second child may put their ideas on the first child, and under the banner of "the eldest brother is like a father and the eldest sister is like a mother", they confidently force the eldest son and daughter to bear the life of their younger brothers and sisters and become the victims of their parents' willfulness.

　　Reader Li Xiao sent me a private letter about the "stupid" decision made by my parents.

　　01. My family background is average, and my parents' abilities are average. ?

　　"If my parents are rich and have several houses, and they want to give birth to my brother and sister, I won't be happy, but I won't object so strongly."

　　Li Xiao was born in an ordinary working family. His parents used to farm for a living and rely on the weather to eat. When Li Xiao was 10 years old, his family made ends meet for two years in a row, and he was burdened with debts. His parents felt helpless and had to entrust their son to the elderly, leave their hometown and go to the city to become migrant workers.

　　"My parents can earn 6,000 yuan a month. They scrimp and save, and they spend money every two or three months to go home for my study. Grandparents planted some vegetables to supplement the family, and we have been living a life of food and clothing, but there is not much savings. "

　　After Li Xiao graduated from university, she began to work. As she has not reached retirement age, her parents still stay in the city and continue to work.

　　02. Try to make money and marry, I'm getting married soon; ??

　　After Li Xiao graduated from university, he chose to apply for a job across banks because his major was narrow.

　　"I now earn around 7,000 a month, with five insurances and one gold, and the treatment is ok. In order to save money, I would rather get up an hour every day to catch the bus than rent a house in the city. I learned to cook and do housework. I seldom go to the supermarket, and most of my daily necessities depend on online shopping. On holidays, I either play drama or sleep, and seldom go out to travel. "

　　Li Xiao lived such a boring life because he knew that his family was not rich and it was difficult for his parents to give him too much money to marry and have children. Therefore, he had to rely on his own efforts.

　　At the age of 26, Li Xiao saw the dawn of solving lifelong events, met his lover and gave him a bride price of 80 thousand. Li Xiao is about to get married.

　　However, at this time, the idea of parents having a second child made Li Xiao feel unbelievable.

　　03. My parents want a second child, and the reason is quite good; ?

　　"Going to visit my parents, my neighbor told me that my mother is pregnant."

　　Pregnant? Mom is 47 years old. What are you going to get pregnant for?

　　When Li Xiao asked his parents, they didn't deny it, and decided to have a second child: "Son, mom is only 47 years old and wants a second child."

　　Li Xiao's mother got married very early and was only 21 years old when she gave birth to Li Xiao, so she is not old now.

　　Li Xiao's mother gave the reason for having a second child, which seems to be sufficient. In summary, there are about three points.

　　First of all, Li Xiao's lifelong event has been solved. When her daughter-in-law enters the door, they have no pressure, and they just have time and energy to raise their children: "I have a salary and a pension with your father. It is not difficult to raise a child."

　　Secondly, after Li Xiao gets married, she has to accompany her wife and children. They feel very lonely and want to raise a child to pass the time.

　　Finally, my uncle and grandson are about the same age, which is quite convenient: "The two children are about the same age. I bring one and two." At that time, I can take care of my youngest son and bring my grandson at the same time. You can also buy two copies of things. Isn't it good? "

　　04. I analyzed the disadvantages and gave my parents a promise to solve this matter;

　　After listening to his parents' reasons, Li Xiao did not waver at all, and his attitude of opposition was firm: "Did you give birth to my brother or son?"

　　In a word, Li Xiao asked his parents. Li Xiao calmed down and analyzed the disadvantages of having a second child at this time for her parents.

　　"Say first economically, mom, if you are pregnant, can you still work? My father's income is only 4 thousand. Can he afford to support three people? I don't need to say more about how much children need to spend! After you retire, although you have a pension, according to the level of your old family, the two of you add up to only 4 thousand at most. Is that enough? What if someone is ill? "

　　"Let's talk about the impact on me. What do you think of raising one and raising two? Do you think my daughter-in-law will promise? To put it bluntly, if it is not a child coming out of her stomach, why should she raise it? Brother in law gave her a pension? The biggest possibility for you to do this is to let my marriage beat Shui Piao, so that I can never get a wife again. "

　　"Finally, my parents are forty or fifty years older than myself. What will outsiders say about my future brother when they see it? Can you really grow up with him? When he has a wife and children, you are all 78 years old. Do you have the ability to help him buy a house? "

　　Li Xiao's question made his parents unable to answer any of them. Seeing that his parents have wavered, Li Xiao may have made his own promise.

　　"I have an arrangement with my girlfriend. When we get married, we will rent a house for you near the community and often visit you. If you are willing to help take care of the children, she promises that when you are older, you will be taken to the home to support the elderly and ensure that you will be old. "

　　In the end, Li Xiao was recognized by his parents, who gave up the plan to have a second child. Li Xiao also breathed a sigh of relief. At least, he kept his happiness.

　　If you dare not argue with your parents, you can only see that your own interests have been violated. ?

　　Keigo Higashino has a passage in "When Born", which says:

　　"Everyone wants to be born in a good family, but they can't choose their parents. What kind of cards are sent to you, you can only play it as well as possible."

　　Being unable to choose parents and family of origin is the most helpless thing for human beings. Everyone wants to be born in a good family, to live a rich and loved life from childhood, and to have a pair of responsible parents. However, we have no choice.

　　Psychologist frank cardelle also said:

　　"One of the most unfortunate facts in life is that the first major tribulation we encounter mostly comes from family, and this kind of tribulation can be inherited."

　　When family of origin troubles you and your family wants to infringe on your interests, if you don't know how to resist and dare not speak your heart, you can only watch yourself being influenced by your family, and you can only watch your life be difficult to get happiness because you have no self.

　　If you dare not argue with your parents, you can only see your own interests violated. Filial piety is not to make you sacrifice everything, not to make you blindly obey.

　　Today's topic: If it were you, would you accept having a younger brother and sister who are twenty years younger than yourself? Welcome to share your opinions in the comments section.