The sorrow of a full-time wife： ＂Give Dad 500 gifts and be forced to write a guarantee. How dare I have a second child？＂

　　As soon as I mentioned the topic of stay-at-home wives, I thought of a hot search I saw some time ago, that is, stay-at-home wives got 10 thousand yuan in housework compensation for divorce.

　　The writer Beauvoir once commented on the stay-at-home wife in "The Second Sex": "There is hardly any hard work, which can be compared with the torture caused by the repeated housework forever-the clean things get dirty and the dirty things are cleaned. Day after day, cycle after cycle. "

　　Being a full-time wife, you do most or even all the housework, and you take care of the children's life and study. Maybe it also includes taking care of the elderly, day after day, without holidays. If you work as a nanny, you won't do so much work, and you may earn 10 thousand yuan back in two months.

　　I gave up my job for my family and worked around housework, husband and children for 24 hours a day. In the end, I got 10 thousand yuan. No wonder people advised women not to be full-time wives.

　　A full-time wife is a more respectful statement. To put it bluntly, you may be a free nanny.

　　Colleague Liu Jingjing used to be a stay-at-home wife for five years. Recently, she quarreled with her husband and filed for divorce, only because her husband once again asked Liu Jingjing to resign and continue to be a stay-at-home wife.

　　01. My husband's 90-year-old grandmother needs someone, and her mother-in-law has no time to help me with my baby, so I have to be a full-time wife;

　　Liu Jingjing became a stay-at-home wife because no one took care of her daughter.

　　"I resigned at the beginning, which was also a helpless move. My mother and my mother-in-law could not help me with my baby."

　　Liu Jingjing's husband's grandmother is 90 years old and paralyzed in bed. She needs 24-hour care, and her father-in-law is still working. Therefore, the burden of taking care of her grandmother is on her mother-in-law, who can't find time to take care of her granddaughter. Liu Jingjing can understand this and is not demanding.

　　As for Liu Jingjing's mother, Liu Jingjing insisted on marrying far away despite her parents' opposition, so she was embarrassed to ask her for help.

　　"Although I have a younger brother, my parents love me very much and don't want me to marry far away, for fear that I will be bullied if I marry far away, and they can't help. My mother told me a lot about the disadvantages of long-distance marriage, and I didn't care about my husband. I also quarreled with my parents and insisted on getting married. "

　　Liu Jingjing suspected that the reason why her husband had a bad attitude towards her parents was probably because her parents-in-law opposed the marriage.

　　Neither mother-in-law nor mother-in-law can count on it. In desperation, Liu Jingjing had to accept her husband's advice, quit her job, become a housewife and focus on her family.

　　"I do housework, I take my daughter, and I have to care about my in-laws in my hometown and deal with his relatives. If he is kind to me, I will admit it. After all, he is the man I chose, but he is too disappointing."

　　02. Buy something for him and his parents, yes, give my dad a gift of 500 yuan, and he actually asked me to write a letter of guarantee;

　　Although the in-laws can't help themselves with the baby, Liu Jingjing doesn't mind. As a daughter-in-law, she still cares about her in-laws in her hometown.

　　My father-in-law always needs to take two kinds of medicine, but it is not easy to buy them in my hometown, so Liu Jingjing bought them in the city and sent them home to my father-in-law. I saw clothes suitable for in-laws and things suitable for in-laws on the Internet. When I told my husband, he would nod.

　　"He regularly told me to be filial to my in-laws, and don't forget to care about his parents, which I did. I didn't miss a point for alimony. I was afraid they wouldn't eat it. I bought it directly online and sent it back by courier. I had to repeatedly tell them that they had a shelf life and had to eat it. My father-in-law is not in good health, and he is always sick. He came to the city for a physical examination. I ran up and down to accompany him three times. "

　　However, filial piety to parents should also be a two-way street. Liu Jingjing is very kind to her in-laws, but her husband is not as bad as her parents-in-law.

　　Mother-in-law is ill in hospital, and Liu Jingjing wants to take her daughter home to visit, so that her husband can eat out and order takeout during this period. Her husband tries every means to stop her, on the grounds that "it's not a serious illness, besides, isn't your brother-in-law here?".

　　My mother-in-law was discharged from the hospital, and Liu Jingjing wanted to share part of the medical expenses. Her husband refused anyway: "With a son, how can my daughter save money?"

　　What is even more exasperating is that some time ago, Liu Jingjing's father celebrated his birthday, and Liu Jingjing couldn't go back, so he gave his father a gift of 500 yuan: "Is it much? It should be less! However, his mobile phone was bound with a salary card, and he transferred more than half of the money, leaving me only the basic living expenses. I only got so much. "

　　Just for this 500 yuan, her husband made a scene at home, saying that Liu Jingjing was not a good wife to help her family, which violated his interests. After a few days of quarreling, she forced Liu Jingjing to write a letter of guarantee and promised never to give money to her family again.

　　03. Have a second child? Sorry, you don't deserve it;

　　Liu Jingjing was so angry that she cried by her husband that she wanted to marry him regardless of her parents' opposition before she got married. She wanted to hit the wall.

　　After her daughter went to kindergarten, Liu Jingjing decisively ended her career as a full-time wife. After N failed interviews, she finally joined our company.

　　"How nice it is to be a woman in the workplace and make money by herself. You can buy clothes for yourself, buy cosmetics for yourself, buy some delicious treats for yourself, and honor your parents. I looked through my online shopping records. In the past five years, I bought nothing for myself except basic daily necessities, but for him, his parents and his daughter. "

　　In the third month of Liu Jingjing's work, her husband actually asked her to have a second child and wanted to have another son. After listening to this request, Liu Jingjing only felt sad: "I gave my father a gift of 500 yuan and was forced to write a guarantee. How dare I have a second child?"

　　Liu Jingjing refused to resign and have a second child, and her husband insisted, not only at home, but also at our company, and was kicked out by our boss.

　　Later, Liu Jingjing showed her husband a showdown: "Let me have a second child, yes, I have two conditions. Either you try to solve the problem of bringing a baby, don't expect me to be a full-time wife, or after you pay your salary every month, transfer all the money to me, and I will give you living expenses. I will take care of the money, and it is useless to pay the card."

　　As Liu Jingjing expected, her husband would not accept her request at all, and would only keep his mouth shut about the truth that "it is a woman's duty to have children". Liu Jingjing was too lazy to quarrel with him, and only replied three words: "You don't deserve it".

　　"I told him about the divorce, but he refused. I moved out directly and apologized to my parents for help. When my parents learned about this, they came to me with their younger brother and daughter-in-law, and told him a showdown. Seeing that I was determined to divorce and left him alone, he probably couldn't help me and agreed to divorce. Now, we are deadlocked over our daughter's affairs, and he doesn't want custody, and he still tries his best to lower the alimony, so let me give up dividing the house and dream his dream! This time, I will never give in, and I will not let the interests of my daughter and me. "

　　04. Without money and dignity, women have no confidence to have children.

　　Yi Shu once said: "Never underestimate the coldness of men when they break up. The stupidest thing for women is to give up their jobs for the so-called family. If they want to be independent, they must first be financially independent, and at least have the ability to support themselves at the end of the song, so that they can continue their lives with dignity!"

　　No matter in interpersonal communication or marriage, no money means no dignity. The face of adults is all given by money. If you have money, you will be hard-backed, you will get the attention of others and dare not insult you easily.

　　Without money and dignity, women have no confidence to have children and raise children. From pregnancy to delivery, is it possible to bring up a born baby without money? If a woman has no financial ability and needs to reach out to a man for money, what should she do when a man is tired of you and wants to abandon your mother and son? At that time, it would be good for you to support yourself, not to mention supporting your children. Giving up custody and being separated from children is also cruel torture for mothers.

　　A word of advice to women, don't think about relying on others. You can't rely on your parents for a lifetime, and you can't rely on a man for a lifetime. The only thing you can rely on is yourself.

　　Just like the sentence in "To the Youth We Will Die": "A lifetime is so long. You never know who will accompany you to the end until the end. Sometimes you meet someone and think it is him. In fact, he is just a passer-by in your life. Maybe there is no end at all, maybe your end point has disappeared as early as a certain moment in the past. "

　　Love will change with time. After marriage, your spouse may not be the one who loved you at the beginning. Marriage needs not only love, but also material things and your independence. Only independence can control one's own destiny and prevent one's life from becoming a mess because of marital changes.

　　Today's topic: Do you suggest that women become full-time wives? Welcome to share your opinions in the comments section.