＂My son is capable, just ask if you need anything.＂ Phoenix Man： Your son is homeless.

　　As the saying goes, a tree needs a skin man and a face. Both men and women care about their own face and cannot allow others to trample on their dignity.

　　As Mr. Lu Xun once said: "Face is the program of China spirit. As long as you grasp this, just like pulling out the braid in the past, you will lift your eyes and move around with your whole body."

　　There is nothing wrong with caring about face. However, for the sake of so-called face-saving, some people will choose to beat up their faces and pretend to be fat, and do things regardless of their own real situation. For example, they live a refined and poor life, boast about their abilities everywhere, promise to help others regardless of their own actual situation, and achieve the goal of saving face in front of outsiders by bullying their spouses.

　　Writer Zhang Fangyu wrote in "Insights from Solitude": "I would rather be poor materially than mediocre spiritually. Material poverty is like an external injury, which can be cured. Spiritual mediocrity is like a chronic illness that accompanies a person's life and is extremely difficult to cure. "

　　Paying too much attention to face is a kind of spiritual mediocrity. You may not only be a fat man, but also steal the chicken and eat the rice, ruining your originally happy life.

　　"My son has the ability. If you need anything, just ask." Xu Hui's parents, who were happy when relatives came to visit, made a promise lightly.

　　"Your son has been homeless and divorced. Are you satisfied? Have a face! " Hearing his parents' words, Xu Hui, 30, not only didn't agree as before, but became angry with his parents, leaving them at a loss.

　　01. My father and mother are fine, but the biggest problem is to save face.

　　As Xu Hui's parents said, their son is really capable, and he is the most promising cousin.

　　Xu Hui is a phoenix man with a general family background. Although he is an only child, his material conditions are still not good when he was a child. Parents make a living by doing farm work, and their income is not high, so they can barely support their families. Relatives live close to each other and help each other. This year you help my family collect crops, and next year I will help you with your work.

　　Xu Hui, with a clever brain, is a piece of reading material. He studied hard under the spur of his parents and was admitted to the best university in this province. After graduation, he stayed in the city to work, and his monthly salary slowly exceeded 30,000, which is the person who earned the most in his family.

　　People are afraid of being famous and strong, what's more, Xu Hui has a parent who mainly deals with Hyun Wa.

　　"My dad and my mom are fine. They don't have any bad habits, and they won't embarrass their daughter-in-law. They didn't say anything when they saw that my wife only gave birth to a daughter. However, they are proud and only like to listen to good things and like to be flattered. Because of my good grades, they got used to hearing good things. "

　　Some people say nice things about you because they are really happy for you. Some people say nice things about you with a purpose, in order to cheer you up and let you float away so that you can ask for help. Many relatives in Xu Hui are the latter.

　　02. In order to save face, parents are responsive to their relatives, angering their wives;

　　The son's annual salary is close to 400,000, the daughter-in-law is a city girl, both parents have jobs, and the couple live in a three-bedroom apartment. This is all that Xu Hui's parents know. As for how difficult it is for Xu Hui to live in the city, Xu Hui, who is filial, didn't mention it, and they didn't know it. They only knew that his son was capable and omnipotent, and everything could be done.

　　So, for the sake of their own face, Xu Hui's parents gave everything to their relatives, whether they borrowed money or did things, and they all gave it to Xu Hui.

　　"Every once in a while, my parents can let my family stay with a few more relatives, some people I don't know. My wife and I have to provide convenience for them to come to the city for business, and we have to eat and drink. My wife has been angry for this several times. My cousin didn't have a suitable job after graduation and was recommended by my mother to come to me. I broke my leg and offered him a job. He fished for three days and dried his net for two days, which not only lost his job, but also made me lose someone. As for borrowing money, it is commonplace, ranging from thousands to tens of thousands. "

　　Every time Xu Hui went back to his hometown, he was asked by his parents to visit these relatives and attend various banquets. From morning till night, Xu Hui and his wife not only failed to get a rest, but also accompanied many gifts.

　　"This is my home, not a hotel where your relatives can live and eat without spending a penny."

　　"People give two or three hundred with the gift. They don't say anything. We gave 1,000, which is still too small. You are even worse. You really added a sum. You have too much money to spend, right!"

　　"I give your parents alimony and send them things every month, and I have done my duty as a daughter-in-law. Why can I help your relatives?"

　　When Xu Hui proposed, her parents-in-law didn't like it, thinking that family of origin, the Phoenix man, had too much burden and would drag down her daughter. My wife insisted on getting married, and it took a long time to get married smoothly. Originally, the couple lived happily, but Xu Hui's proud parents and insatiable relatives broke her beautiful expectations for Xu Hui.

　　03. My marriage is broken, I am homeless, and my relatives still don't give up;

　　Parents give their relatives whatever they want, which makes Xu Hui miserable, making him a mouse in the bellows, between Scylla and Charybdis.

　　"Are relatives, help what's the matter? You can't forget your roots. Besides, we all agreed. If you don't keep your word, the old couple will be ashamed to go out and meet people. It is better to run into a car. " Hearing his parents' words, Xu Hui felt helpless and unreasonable. Being filial, he couldn't bear to make his parents sad and embarrassed, so he had to continue to help his relatives endlessly. As a result, in the end, he ruined his marriage.

　　"Since you value your relatives more than I do, and you never take my words to heart, what else can you do? Divorce! The custody of my daughter belongs to me. If you want the house, you will compensate me according to your share. "

　　At first, Xu Hui didn't want to divorce, but his wife had made up her mind. After her parents-in-law knew about it, she supported her daughter's decision and invited a lawyer. In the end, Xu Hui lost his marriage and became homeless.

　　Knowing that their son had divorced, parents not only failed to reflect on their mistakes, but constantly complained that their daughter-in-law was not sensible, cold-blooded and unfilial, and Xu Hui, who became single, had to continue to deal with those relatives.

　　04. Which is more important, face or lining? People who don't understand can't keep happiness.

　　There is such a sentence in "Caigen Tan", which makes people feel cold. "Richness is more cold, and flesh and blood are more taboo, and the state of coldness is richer than poverty; Jealousy, the flesh and blood is especially cruel to outsiders. If you don't use cold intestines here, you will be calm, and you will never sit in trouble. "

　　How realistic are relatives? One news may explain it, and that is what happened after Quan Hongchan won the championship. The 14-year-old Olympic champion came from a poor family before winning the championship, but few people asked him. After winning the championship, relatives who had never seen them flocked to us.

　　When you meet such relatives, if you give them whatever they want for the sake of face, you will do harm to yourself.

　　Which is more important, face or lining? People who don't understand can't keep happiness. If you meet people who are ungrateful, no matter how much you help them, it will only promote Mi En to fight against Mi Qiu.

　　Today's topic: Do you think face is more important or lining is more important? Welcome to share your opinions in the comments section.