＂The AA system of spending money after marriage became the reason why my wife refused to give me children.＂

　　When in love, how to pay for the expenses caused by love is a matter of great concern to both men and women.

　　Some boys like to get ahead and even bear most of the expenses, because they think boys should not be too stingy in front of girls. If men are too stingy, girls won't like them too much. There are also some boys who have realistic ideas. After all, falling in love is an uncertain process. In case two people don't make it to the end, won't the boy who makes a big head suffer?

　　In order to reduce the contradiction caused by money, people began to advocate AA payment method, which is also a half-love expense for men and women.

　　The AA payment method has obvious advantages. First, for women, if you bear half of the expenses when you are in love and don't take advantage of too much, you will have more confidence when you get along with boys. Secondly, if couples use AA payment method, it will reduce the contradiction caused by money and be conducive to the further development of their feelings.

　　There is no problem for couples to adopt AA payment method, but what if they are husband and wife?

　　Mr. Ge is one of my readers. He wrote to me privately the day before yesterday and told me about his marriage problems.

　　Mr. Ge first complained to me about his wife, thinking that she was unreasonable and didn't fulfill her responsibilities as a wife. Even the children refused to give birth to him: "I am an only child. How can I meet my parents if she doesn't give birth to me?" Besides, how can I get married without having children? "

　　01

　　The reason why Mr. Ge's wife refused to have children for him is directly related to the AA marriage.

　　Mr. Ge had a high income before he got married. He works in a big company and is a middle-level leader in the company. Although he often needs to work overtime, his commission is also high. Now, Mr. Ge's monthly income has reached 20,000 yuan.

　　Mr. Ge's wife, an only child, has lived a life of food and clothing since childhood. With the love of her parents, she doesn't want to live too hard. In her opinion, it is not cost-effective to let work occupy most of her time. Therefore, Mr. Ge's wife chose to work in a small company and lived from nine to six, with a monthly salary of only four or five thousand yuan.

　　Before he got married, Mr. Ge felt that his wife's income was low, which would lower his quality of life after he got married. Therefore, he repeatedly persuaded his wife to change jobs with high income, but she didn't want to.

　　Seeing that he could not convince his wife, Mr. Ge began to make plans for himself.

　　He not only notarized the property before marriage, but also proposed an AA marriage with his wife.

　　Mr. Ge's wife was naturally unwilling, but at Mr. Ge's insistence, her wife finally agreed to her husband's request for AA system.

　　02

　　At first, Mr. Ge's wife didn't take AA system seriously, and still asked Mr. Ge for money to buy things. Mr. Ge repeatedly used AA system as an excuse for not giving money to his wife, which made her feel very angry.

　　In order to fight back against Mr. Ge, his wife practiced the AA system in every aspect of her life.

　　First of all, Mr. Ge's wife strictly implements AA system in housework. Not only does she not help Mr. Ge wash clothes, but if she wants to cook, Mr. Ge must cook or wash dishes. In the work of cleaning the house, his wife asked Mr. Ge to take turns on duty with her.

　　Secondly, Mr. Ge's mother-in-law is ill, and his wife won't let Mr. Ge wait on him. Mr. Ge's father was ill, and his wife refused to wait on him. He also said, "Since this is an AA marriage, we should each bear the responsibility of providing for the elderly for our parents. My parents don't need your care, and your parents don't expect me to take care of them. "

　　Finally, the most unacceptable thing for Mr. Ge is the aspect of having children. No matter how Mr. Ge persuaded and asked, his wife refused to have children for him.

　　The reason why his wife refused to have a baby for him is also very clear: "If I am pregnant, I need to stop working and have no income. At that time, who will support me? Also, it's all my business to conceive in October. Can you help me share the five months? Since you can't share, why should I have a baby? The child was born to me, and the person who suffered is also me. Then are you willing to let the child take my surname? "

　　After listening to his wife's reasons, Mr. Ge felt very angry and spoke to me: "Spending AA after marriage has become the reason why my wife refused to give me children. But I think she's obviously messing around. Being pregnant and having children is a bounden duty given to women by nature. How can we men replace it? Other women can have children, why can't she? Speaking of children's surnames, since ancient times, children have taken their father's surnames. I am an only child. My children don't take my surnames. Isn't my family going to die? "

　　Hearing this, I really want to tell Mr. Ge that your wife doesn't want to have children, but is heartbroken by you. It is not that your wife is too selfish, but that you are selfish.

　　The premise of the existence of AA marriage should be that both husband and wife reach an agreement, not that one party is forced to accept it.

　　In real life, there are indeed families who practice AA lifestyle, and the husband and wife get along well.

　　AA system can be used in marriage, as long as both husband and wife accept AA system after marriage. If one of the husband and wife refuses to accept the AA marriage and the other insists on the AA marriage, then the gap between husband and wife will inevitably occur.

　　In the eyes of those who are forced to accept the AA system, the other party proposes the AA system because they don't want to take on family responsibilities or pay for their families. AA marriage makes couples live like roommates. AA marriage not only separates money, but also separates husband and wife's obligations, and at the same time widens the distance between them.

　　Money is not the whole of marriage, and the contribution of husband and wife to marriage and family cannot be measured by money.

　　Take Mr. Ge's case for example! Mr. Ge's wife has a point. For women, she may not be as good as men in economic contribution to the family, but women need to add more members to the family, have children, and go through the pain of childbirth. These things are irreplaceable by men. And the child born is not only the blood of a woman, but also the blood of a man, and the child usually takes his father's surname. In terms of having children, how do couples carry out AA system?

　　When a woman is pregnant, she will temporarily lack income. If men still insist on AA system at this time and refuse to bear the expenses for their common children, it is undoubtedly selfish.

　　In marriage, husband and wife should not divide things too carefully, nor should they be too haggle over personal gains and losses. In marriage, the more you calculate, the more dissatisfied you will be with each other, and the more estranged you will be.

　　Husband and wife need to understand each other and pay each other. When a woman is in the most difficult time, a man should help his wife more, instead of patronizing his own interests. When men need support, women should also support their husbands more. A good marriage needs to give and support each other.

　　Today's topic: If it were you, would you accept AA marriage? Welcome to share your opinions in the comments section.