I helped my son take care of the baby in the city, and my husband farmed in his hometown. During this period, my husband had a temporary partner.

　　The reader's letter says:

　　My husband and I are both farmers. The only son in our family stayed in the university city after graduating from college. After working the next year, he found a daughter-in-law and got married in the city. When my son got married, my daughter-in-law didn't ask for a bride price, but she hollowed out my husband and I's life savings by buying a house. After my son got married for more than a year, my daughter-in-law gave birth to a baby. At this point, I went to the city to help my son take care of the baby, while my husband stayed in his hometown to farm and raise poultry. What I didn't expect was that during this period, my husband actually fell in love with a widowed woman in the village.

　　My neighbor told me about her husband's betrayal of marriage on the phone, and then I questioned her husband, who refused to admit it. Because I won't be able to go back to my husband for a while, and I can only check on my husband in the form of video chat when I'm not busy.

　　My husband and I were classmates in junior high school. After graduating from junior high school, neither of us continued to go to school. Coincidentally, we both chose to work in Shenzhen without any discussion, and we ran into each other while working in Shenzhen. At that time, we would take care of each other in life, and after a long time, we established a love relationship. My husband and I are each other's first love, and during our common life, our feelings are particularly good. Unexpectedly, now that we are both in our fifties, our husband has betrayed our marriage.

　　I'm not divorced yet, but the thought of my husband betraying his marriage makes me angry and heartbroken. In this case, I can only ask my neighbors to keep an eye on my husband for me. Recently, I learned from chatting with my neighbors that my husband is no longer in contact with that widowed woman, and I have stopped a lot. Therefore, I didn't pursue my husband's affair, but I still kept the frequency of frequent video chat with my husband. At the same time, I didn't mention it in front of my son and daughter-in-law. Because I will probably stay at my son's house until my grandson goes to kindergarten before I can return to my husband, or it will take longer, I sometimes worry that if my husband can't stand loneliness again one day in the future, will he still cheat on me?

　　Analysis of Muzili's emotion;

　　In life, we often see two phenomena: 1) We live in a small place, and our children have a stable job in a big city through examinations. When their children get married and have children, they will be one of the parents or meet in the city to bring their children. At this time, the husband and wife have to passively face the situation of separation. In this case, it may lead to betrayal of marriage between husband and wife because they can't stand loneliness; 2) I live in a small place, and my children live in a big city through exams, waiting for their old age. Because I have one son and one daughter, or two daughters, or two sons, in order to reflect the fairness of filial piety, each child supports a parent, which leads to parents having to be passively separated. At this time, there must be a strong acacia between husband and wife.

　　In the process of children's growth, most parents will show unreserved efforts to their children within their abilities. As children, should they also have such reflections: 1) Is it fair for parents to have to live apart in order to help them take care of your baby? 2) In the process of providing for the elderly for parents, although you gave your parents the filial piety they should have, you forced them to stop living under the same roof. Is it fair to your parents? Or some children may feel that parents are old, and they no longer need relationships with men and women. Whether or not to live together is nothing, but they ignore the main companionship between people. Especially in old age, the companionship given by children to parents can't replace the companionship of husband and wife. Therefore, under any circumstances, don't easily separate parents.

　　We need to use morality to regulate ourselves and restrain ourselves in our life. Even if the husband and wife live apart all the year round, people hope to ensure each other's loyalty to marriage. However, whether an overly self-disciplined life is happy or not, only experienced people know the taste. Only when the husband and wife get together less and leave more, once they get involved in an extramarital affair, the loyal marriage partner will inevitably feel heartbroken, and the act of betraying the marriage will not only bring trauma to the relationship between husband and wife, but also become the talk of people around them after dinner and the object of criticism. Perhaps those who passively gather less and leave more are also helpless, but in the face of cruel reality, they can't say anything in the face of their own grievances. Remind all children: whether they are supporting their parents or asking them to help you with your baby, I hope to present a situation in which parents advance and retreat together.

　　As a child, you still need to understand: the golden nest is not as good as your own kennel. It means that parents don't want to live under the same roof with their children if conditions permit or their bodies permit. After all, living under the same roof, everyone will feel a little stiff. Especially after parents reach a certain age, they will not give orders to their children at all, but will act according to their children's faces. At this time, living under the same roof with their children is actually quite stressful for parents. To this end, we must correct our attitude towards our parents while bringing them to our side. After all, you and your legitimate lover are the core of the new family, and there will be an invisible gap between your parents and your legitimate lover. Only when you have a correct attitude towards your parents can your legitimate lover give your parents respect.

　　The affair about your husband's infidelity must be caused by loneliness, and because you are the first love of each other and your relationship has been very good for more than 20 years, you will be sad only after learning that he betrayed his marriage. However, you don't have the conditions to go back to your husband now, because if you go back to your husband by force, your son and daughter-in-law will have such a cognition: you don't want to help them take care of the children, but they can't understand your supervision of your husband and the inadequacy of not taking your husband to them. My suggestion: In order to eliminate your worry about your husband's cheating again, let your husband give up farming and raising poultry and take a part-time job in the city where your son works, so as to eliminate the separation between husband and wife.

　　When your husband comes to you, you can rent a small house in the community where your son lives, which will not only avoid the constraint of living under the same roof with your son, but also ensure that you and your husband meet frequently. Please believe that your husband's monthly labor income can fully meet the daily expenses of you and your husband. There is another suggestion: when your son and daughter-in-law rest, you can also free yourself from the fatigue of helping them with their baby, and take advantage of your son and daughter-in-law's rest time to see if there is a "daily knot" job suitable for you. When people reach a certain age, they also need to accumulate some savings for themselves. Only in this way can they be relatively car-scrapping in front of their children and strive for some sense of security for themselves.

　　Editor's note:

　　Every time I browse the web, I will always see a lot of remarks about missing my parents, but in real life, have I put filial piety into practice? In fact, anything related to the end, the main thing is a companion, so if conditions permit, please accompany your parents more, instead of waiting until your parents leave us, when recalling the past, to taste the regrets left by your poor filial piety.

　　There is a saying that parents are the best teachers for children. It means that what attitude you present in the filial piety will also affect your children subtly. If you are indifferent to your parents, when you are old, your parents' experience will probably become your reincarnation. Regrettably, some people who are unfilial to their loved ones' parents look to their children and their loved ones to show filial piety when they are old, but ignore the reality in fish begins to stink at the head.

　　(The picture is from the Internet, and the picture has nothing to do with it)