When the husband returned to his hometown to visit relatives, he went shopping hand in hand with his first love girlfriend and was caught by the other husband.

　　The reader's letter says:

　　My husband's hometown is in a county town in Henan, and my hometown is in a county town in Guizhou. We met and got married while working in Chengdu. Since we have our own house in Chengdu, each other's hometown has become a distant place where we seldom go back. More often, homesickness is only expressed in the form of video chat.

　　Some time ago, my father-in-law accidentally fell down while walking the steps, and my husband made a special trip back to their hometown. I didn't go back with my husband because of work, children's studies and other factors. After the husband returned to his hometown, he told me on the phone that his father-in-law's health was not serious. Regrettably, a few days later, my mother-in-law told me on the phone that my husband had been admitted to the hospital. In this case, I can only take my children and rush back to my husband's hometown non-stop.

　　Regarding the fact that her husband was hospitalized, I found out the truth: during her visit to her father-in-law, her husband went shopping hand in hand with his first love girlfriend. Unfortunately, their dating scene was just discovered by the other husband, so that her husband was beaten by the other husband in the street, which resulted in hospitalization. After learning the truth that my husband was hospitalized, I was very angry with him: why didn't the other party beat you to death? However, angry words turn into angry words, and the burden of taking care of my husband still falls on me.

　　Husband and her first love girlfriend were classmates in high school, and her husband's academic performance was rather sharp at that time, while his first love girlfriend was more outstanding in appearance. After the teachers and parents learned about their love affair, they were forcibly separated for the sake of their husbands' academic performance. Subsequently, her husband was admitted to the university, and the woman stayed in their county town after graduating from high school. During the period, they occasionally contacted each other. Unexpectedly, during the time when her husband returned to his hometown, they performed "rekindling the old love".

　　I clearly know that because of distance, social status, family involvement and other factors, there is no possibility for my husband and his first love girlfriend to get together again, but my husband's betrayal of marriage itself has hurt me. I want to ask, how can I get myself out of this injury in the post-derailment period?

　　Analysis of Muzili's emotion;

　　Everyone will have some regrets when recalling the past, and feel that if time can go back, some things may be handled better by themselves. But the cruel reality tells us that life is a one-way street, we can look back, but there is no way to go back. Many times, people lament the beauty of youth because we are relatively simple in adolescence, and at that time we don't have to bear the burden of life itself, so we have such a consensus in our hearts that during school, it will be the last piece of pure land in life. Therefore, those who participated in their adolescence will belong to a special existence when they recall the past. It's just that people ignore another thing: at school, many people had a strong desire for life outside the campus.

　　In fact, people have different troubles at different ages. When I was in school, I often had troubles including: 1) When my learning attitude was not correct, I would be reprimanded by my teachers and parents; 2) Because I don't have the ability to make money, I need to beg my parents and look at their faces when spending money. So that people at that time wanted to go to the society early and felt that they could make a lot of money by their own efforts. Only when I really entered the society did I find that owning a house of my own in the working city, not being too wronged at work, finding a close person to start a new life, and trying to become a qualified father or mother are actually a little costly. At this time, I gradually realized that it was not easy for my parents, and I especially missed campus life, but I couldn't go back to the past.

　　There are too many people who have their own families, but they still have special feelings for the love object during school. Many times, people have the illusion that the love object during school is the love of their life. In fact, people are hard to be indifferent to the love object during school, not because of the person himself, but because the other person participated in our youth, and what we really can't forget is the carefree adolescence. Remind everyone: after having a family of your own, you can keep in touch with your love object during school, but you must not do anything beyond the line. Some people need to be sober at this moment: 1) Relationships that fail to get married are rotten peaches; 2) You like each other at school, but you are all social people now, and you have all changed too much in the baptism of society.

　　When we can clearly realize the cruel reality that some people can only miss but not provoke after missing, we should keep a safe distance from those who have missed. At this time, you should put your legitimate lover and your children in a more important position. The key is that as an adult, you should understand that the implementation of anything has corresponding results and costs. Especially in the face of things that clearly violate ethics, we must use strong self-control to curb our greed, instead of shedding tears of regret when we are punished. Remember: tears of adults are usually cheaper. No one can get the forgiveness of people around him or escape the severe punishment of the law because he shed a few tears after making a mistake.

　　In marriage, people often encounter such troubles: after the lover has betrayed the marriage, the lover chose to pull back from the brink and chose to forgive the lover himself. But I don't know how to face the derailment of my lover in the post-derailment period. What I want to say is: There is no one in this world who can't live without someone. In the face of the harm that his lover has given him, he later chose to forgive because he still loves him, or there is something in this relationship that he can't give up. For this reason, the factors that you convince yourself to forgive are the motivation for you to continue to maintain this relationship. Therefore, in the post-infidelity period, when you are depressed, it may be helpful for you to get out of the shadow of your lover's betrayal of marriage.

　　Some things, perhaps not mentioned frequently, will become less important in the washing of time. As a matter of fact, we will experience too many things in our life, and in the case of water under the bridge, some things belong to the injury of inequality. Once you choose to forgive yourself, perhaps it is the best way to deal with this injury by letting time become irrelevant, and it is not necessary to seek psychological balance by cheating on cheating. Therefore, in the post-derailment period, when you choose to forgive yourself, the humiliation brought by your lover's derailment, in addition to letting time help you get over it, can only make yourself try not to bring up the old things when you are depressed and let yourself swallow it. Remind all the people in the besieged city: Maybe some of your misconduct, in your opinion, is nothing, but it will bring a serious psychological shadow to your lover. If you don't have the idea of divorce, you must ensure your loyalty to your marriage.

　　Editor's note:

　　People are actually a species that is particularly afraid of loneliness, so that most people can't get along well with loneliness. Only sometimes, I don't have the strength to expand my social circle, and when I face life, I am passively in a relatively lonely state. If you are lucky enough to meet someone who is willing to accompany you, maybe they will show some so-called differences, but companionship itself is a rare favor between them, so you should learn to cherish it.

　　Sometimes, people will flaunt that they can get along well with loneliness, because they still have colleagues to communicate with you at the minimum when they face work every day, or there are some friends who are still single like you. When your colleagues and friends around you have their own families, and when you have a headache, you will understand the importance of having someone around you, but don't forget the pain.

　　(The picture is from the Internet, and the picture has nothing to do with it)