Chen Chen [cat abandonment effect]

　　Some people say: Why do you always feel that stray cats are timid, and the slightest sound will make them tremble? "For stray cats, there are also lucky and unlucky people. Lucky cats, from the moment they are adopted. Unfortunately for cats, no one wants some people to say, "Why do you always feel that stray cats are timid, and the slightest noise will make them tremble?" For stray cats to adopt, they can only live alone outside, fight hard and live hard. But adopted stray cats are not as easy to "get close to people" as you think.

　　There is a concept in psychology called "cat abandonment effect". It means that when a cat has been abandoned and adopted again, it is no longer willing to be close to and trust people.

　　The "cat abandonment effect" in love

　　There is always a truth hidden in love, that is: "I don't know how to cherish it when I have it, and I regret it when I lose it." In feelings, people always can't see each other's kindness to themselves clearly. They always feel that each other's kindness is deserved, and they think that others will be as good to themselves except him. " Especially, it is really regrettable that two people get together after going through a lot of hardships, but when they are in love, they throw each other aside and ignore them.

　　Everything has two sides. Therefore, the existence of the cat abandonment effect also has its positive side. For example, when we break up because our partner lacks freshness. At this time, letting the predecessor leave calmly will create a sense of loss. Then, under the dual effects of the cat abandonment effect and the loss aversion effect, the chances of the ex coming back to us will increase, and if we manage it well, the feelings between the two sides may be closer than before.

　　However, it should be noted that this situation requires two conditions. First, the breakup is proposed by the other party; Second, we have no major mistakes in this relationship. Only with these two conditions, our departure and cold treatment will be a "natural and unrestrained turn", not a "natural".

　　Love is a game of diamond cut diamond, and the highest level of the game is psychological confrontation. People say that falling in love is like flying a kite, and the thread is too tight, which becomes a constraint. But if the line is too loose, he will get farther and farther away, so he is afraid of losing it. If you are at arm's length, you can put it away freely, always remembering that the kite string will always be firmly held in your hand.