＂Phoenix man wants me to marry him in the wedding room because I'm not a virgin, which makes him feel ashamed.＂

　　As a man, do you have a virgin complex

　　When I threw this question to my male friends and relatives around me, I got three answers.

　　A friend said, "As long as we really love each other, I can accept that she is not a virgin."

　　My cousin's idea is more rational: "If she is not a virgin, I need to know why. If she is strict with her feelings and doesn't do anything casual, I can accept that she is not a virgin. If it is a woman who plays with feelings, I will never accept it. "

　　My college classmate's attitude is very firm: "If my girlfriend is not a virgin, I can't marry her."

　　The reason why I want to ask this question is because my boyfriend and I had another quarrel yesterday. The reason for our quarrel is still around the bride price and dowry. Although I have made up my mind to let go of this relationship, my heart is still unwilling.

　　My boyfriend has asked me to marry him more than once, and asked me to write his name on the wedding room where I paid the full amount. This request is obviously unreasonable in my opinion. However, he told me: "You are not a virgin, which has already made me feel humiliated. I want you to marry a wedding room to make up for me."

　　01

　　Let me introduce my first emotional experience to you first!

　　When I was a freshman, I fell in love with a tall and handsome boy in our class. After three months of unremitting pursuit, he promised to be my boyfriend.

　　After that, we talked about love for three years, and we felt quite happy in the process of getting along. One afternoon in my junior year, I went to the house he rented to find him. He is a year older than me and is doing an internship. That day, he was scolded by his boss and was in a bad mood. In order to comfort him, I drank wine with him.

　　We were all very light drinkers and soon got drunk. Then, when I woke up, I found that we slept together. At that time, although I felt very embarrassed, I thought I would definitely marry him, so I didn't care about it with him.

　　However, we didn't make it to the end, because a week before our wedding, he met a traffic accident.

　　After he left, I felt extremely uncomfortable, so I closed my heart and didn't fall in love for a long time.

　　02

　　After I turned 28 years old, influenced by the discussion around me, my parents began to keep urging marriage. At this time, my boyfriend came into my world.

　　My boyfriend is a standard Phoenix man. He was born in a remote mountain village. I don't even know where it is. His parents are migrant workers, who usually work in the county town to earn money. When the wheat harvest season comes, they take time off to go home and collect wheat. Although his parents are hard-working and earn money, he still has three sisters, so the economic conditions in his family are still not very good.

　　Although the family conditions are not very good, my boyfriend is very disappointing. He not only finished his master's degree by earning money from his part-time job, but also entered our company, with a monthly salary of more than 40 thousand.

　　Although he was rejected by me three times, he didn't give up. Finally, he successfully touched my friends around me, and under the persuasion of everyone, I slowly accepted him.

　　Three months ago, I promised to marry him and hold the wedding.

　　Once, he took the initiative to tell me about his emotional experience: "I think it is necessary for us to explain each other's emotional experience so as not to quarrel about it in the future."

　　So I told him that I was not a virgin. After hearing this, my boyfriend's face changed immediately. He told me that he had a virgin complex.

　　After that, he remained silent and went home alone. I could understand his feelings and didn't urge him to make a statement.

　　Not long ago, he asked me to meet again and said to me, "I don't care that you are a virgin, but I still suffer a lot." Therefore, you need to compensate me. "

　　And the compensation he asked for was that I should buy a house in full and add his name.

　　According to the current regulations, as long as I can prove that I bought the house in full, it doesn't hurt to add his name. However, he actually asked me to give him money to ensure that the wedding room is the joint property of husband and wife.

　　I turned him down and stopped thinking about marrying him. However, he was unwilling and kept bothering me.

　　03

　　Men's attitude towards emotional experience is a touchstone to test men's character.

　　First of all, men and women who treat their feelings as trifles should stay as far away as possible.

　　For women, when they get married, they are most afraid of marrying a man who is more playboy. A philandering man is not only fond of philandering, but also irresponsible to his feelings. If a woman marries such a man, it will definitely be difficult after marriage.

　　Therefore, when women understand men's emotional experience, they need to pay special attention to men's attitude in their previous feelings. If he has too many girlfriends in a short time, or every relationship is short, then he may have shortcomings that you haven't found.

　　Also, when you talk to a man about his previous emotional experience, you can pay attention to his evaluation of his predecessor. Generally speaking, a man with excellent character will not speak ill of the woman he loved easily. Even if that woman is really wrong, but now that she has put it down, there is no need to speak ill of each other.

　　Secondly, if men can't accept that you have had an emotional experience or something wrong, don't force it on.

　　A woman needs to observe a man's reaction after explaining her emotional experience. If a man has an emotional cleanliness and says he doesn't mind, the actual actions are obviously mind. For example, if you often mention your previous emotional experience, or your attitude towards you is a lot cold, you need to be self-aware.

　　If the other person really cares about this matter, it can only show that you two are predestined friends, and it is difficult to get happiness together. After all, it is difficult for two people to get along as if nothing had happened after one person has a bad feeling towards his lover. It is better to let go decisively than to feel like a sore throat when you are in love.

　　Finally, a woman should not marry a man who pretends to accept a woman's emotional experience but takes it as a bargaining chip.

　　It is normal for men to have emotional cleanliness. Everyone has their own opinions and principles, and others can't force them. However, if a man's character is qualified, the best he can do after he knows that you are not a virgin is to let go, rather than use it as a bargaining chip. Love pays attention to your feelings and wishes, not to mutual calculation. If a man pretends to accept a woman's emotional experience, but takes it as a bargaining chip to blackmail her, he wants to seek benefits for himself. Such a man has a poor character and is not worthy of women's love.

　　When a woman is in love, she must love herself and respect herself. Don't hand over her most important things easily, so as not to affect her life.

　　Today's topic: What do you think of men's virginity complex? Welcome to share your opinions in the comments section.