The pursuit of recognition has curbed your freedom, but being hated is actually a kind of ＂courage＂

　　What I share with you today is a very popular book in the field of psychology, The Courage of Being Hate.

　　He was once the champion of Amazon sales list in Japan, and was recommended by many domestic stars and big coffees, and reprinted many times.

　　You may be curious, listening to this title, is it a book that teaches us how to absorb negative energy and makes us more and more annoying?

　　Of course not, this is actually a book that teaches us how to get freedom and happiness.

　　The courage to be hated was written by Japanese writers Kishimichiro and Koga Shijian. Who are these two sacred?

　　Ichiro Kishida is a consultant of Adler Psychological Society in Japan, specializing in philosophy and Adler psychology.

　　Koga Shijian was originally a writer of documentary literature, but since he came into contact with Adler's psychology, he has become an iron fan of Shoichiro, asking him for advice and learning.

　　Speaking of this, the attentive audience should have guessed that this book must have something to do with Adler's psychology.

　　Yes, this book is a summary of some of Adler's thoughts.

　　Speaking of Adler, he is called the three giants of psychology with Freud and Jung.

　　Of course, it doesn't matter if you don't know them, and it doesn't matter if you don't know psychology, because this book doesn't need any professional knowledge at all. No matter who you are, what occupation and what background you have, you can read it smoothly, not only easily understand it, but also operate it.

　　This book tells the great wisdom of life in simple terms by means of dialogue between "confused youth" and "wise Zen master".

　　All kinds of difficult problems in our life, such as work, money, relationships, etc., can be found from them.

　　Now let's listen to the following story and feel the magic of this book.

　　A girl once went to the wise man's studio to ask for help, and the reason was very simple, that is, she loved to blush.

　　We used to say that girls are shy when they love to blush, but they are embarrassed. If you have a girlfriend who loves to blush, you may still think it is quite cute.

　　But this girl's love of blushing is no longer an ordinary blushing, and it belongs to blushing phobia, which has affected her normal life.

　　How serious is that?

　　It's so serious that she blushes at the sight of people. We can imagine, if I were that girl, where would I go out? When I meet people, I would blush first, which would be so embarrassing.

　　The point is, is the girl still waiting to cure her blushing and confess to her beloved?

　　No, the girl couldn't stand it, so she turned to the wise man for help.

　　A wise man is a wise man. After listening to the girl's description, she thinks that the reason why girls can't cure blushing all the time is that girls need to blush.

　　You must be wondering, why do girls need to blush when they obviously don't want to blush?

　　The wise man's words will definitely wake me up like a dream.

　　The wise man said that for girls, the most fearful, worrying and unacceptable thing is lovelorn, that is, being rejected by the beloved.

　　However, because of blushing phobia, girls can find excuses for their failure. How to understand this sentence?

　　That is to say, girls can escape from themselves with the idea that "I can't associate with him because of blushing phobia".

　　He invented a "blush phobia" because he didn't have the courage to confess or was rejected.

　　Isn't it interesting? In life, we all find a suitable reason for our embarrassment or failure. When girls can't find a suitable reason externally, they create a reason for themselves internally.

　　In that case, the girl's blushing is not hopeless?

　　Guess what the wise man said. The wise man just told the girl that I wouldn't cure you.

　　The girl is confused, why?

　　Because blushing is a prescription for you to comfort yourself and not accept reality. I cured you, and you found that things didn't change as you expected. If you come over and ask me to help you get blushing phobia, then I really can't do anything.

　　This idea of a wise man is actually the idea of Adler's psychology. Girls have no confidence in themselves and always think that things will improve if blushing is cured. In fact, even if blushing is cured, things will not change much.

　　At this time, what we can do is to let girls accept themselves now, regardless of the outcome, we must first have the courage to move forward.

　　Finally, the plot reversed, and the boy voluntarily confessed to the girl during a trip, and the girl never came again.

　　Hearing this, I can't help feeling, just as girls are afraid of being rejected by their boyfriends, we are often afraid of being denied, despised and rejected by others in our lives. Instead of putting ourselves in this dilemma, we might as well not have contact with others and save ourselves from injury.

　　In fact, in the dead of night, I comfort myself instead:

　　If it weren't for my shortcomings, others would like me, and it was because I was sure that others refused me.

　　In fact, if we think about it carefully, we can understand that as long as people live in relationships and deal with people, it is impossible not to get hurt. Not only will we get hurt more or less, but we will also hurt others.

　　As Adler said:

　　To get rid of troubles, only one person exists in the universe.

　　However, this is simply impossible.

　　What should we do in the face of other people's judgments?

　　Adler clearly told us:

　　In interpersonal relationships, how others evaluate you is someone else's topic, and you can't control it at all. If you care too much about the sight and evaluation of others, you will continue to seek recognition from others. The pursuit of recognition stifles freedom. Because I don't want to be hated by anyone, I chose an unfree lifestyle. In other words, freedom means no longer seeking recognition.

　　Do you hear that? This is the great wisdom of life.

　　Dickens once said in A Tale of Two Cities: "This is the best time and this is the worst time.

　　We live in this era, most people have solved the problem of food and clothing, some people have achieved a well-off life, people's requirements for material life are getting higher and higher, and the resulting anxiety, impatience and blindness are becoming more and more obvious.

　　Life seems to give us all kinds of examination questions, such as money, relationships, time, health and so on. These seemingly are the difficulties of life, but in fact, they are all our inner constraints.

　　This book is to help us free ourselves from bondage.

　　He not only analyzed the root causes of all kinds of problems in life, but also gave countermeasures one by one. He told us how to get happiness, put forward original ideas for "inferiority complex", "superiority complex" and "happiness" and gave everyone a happy prescription.

　　Perhaps, you are tired of a relationship now, perhaps, you are losing your direction for the future now, perhaps, you are struggling with how to choose now. ......

　　The courage to be hated is presented to you. Please give yourself a chance to go out, pick up this book and find your own key to happiness.

　　I'm He Xiang. Pay attention to me and bring you more good books to recommend.