My mother asked me to prepare a New Year's Eve dinner for 15 people, and my husband was domineering and protective of his wife： Why should outsiders cook？

　　A married daughter, spilled water, many people have heard this sentence.

　　Some parents will say this as a joke. In the eyes of some open-minded people, even if their daughters are married, they are their own darling. After returning to their parents' home, they can still get the care of their parents as long as they don't make trouble. Parents will not sit idly by when they are wronged in their husband's family, but will uphold justice for their daughters. It is a woman's blessing to have a pair of parents who love themselves and regard themselves as relatives.

　　Some parents say this sentence, which is the real idea. In the eyes of some parents who have the idea of son preference, the daughter is a loser and an outsider. After getting married, it has nothing to do with her family. Once a daughter is in trouble and it is not good for them, many cruel parents will not care about their daughter's happiness at all.

　　What makes some daughters feel more painful is that whether they are family members or outsiders, the standard for parents to measure is not family, but interests. When you are profitable to them, you are the daughter who needs to repay their support. When you can't help your parents, you are an outsider they dislike very much.

　　"Have you ever heard of letting outsiders into the kitchen to prepare for the New Year's Eve dinner?" Less than three days after returning to her family, Julie was heartbroken by her parents' partiality and even had no idea of staying for the New Year's Eve dinner.

　　01. You are an outsider, and your property belongs to your brother. This is my mother's original words;

　　Julie has heard the phrase "married daughter, spilled water" from her parents.

　　Julie's parents were eccentric when she was very young. As a girl, Julie seldom wears new clothes, but picks up old clothes from her cousins. When Julie complains, her mother will say that she belongs to someone else's family sooner or later, and it is not worthwhile to spend money on her; When Julie went to college, her parents not only refused to pay, but also asked her to go out to work to make money to help her family reduce the burden. What she said was the same sentence: "You belong to someone else's family sooner or later, and the money you earn belongs to someone else's family. You have to make more contributions to your family while you are still unmarried."

　　When Julie got married, her husband gave a bride price of 180 thousand. In front of her in-laws, Julie's parents promised to marry her daughter 80 thousand. When Julie checked the bank card and found that there was only 2,000 yuan to question her parents, she got the sentence that "the bride price money belongs to her family, and the married daughter is not qualified to share the property at home".

　　Influenced by her parents' preference for sons over daughters, Julie has always been very insecure and eager for care.

　　02. When they need it, they bite a good girl. When I need them, I push from pillar to post.

　　What makes Julie feel even more painful is that her parents are extremely double-marked.

　　"When they need it, they bite a good prostitute. When I need them, I will be an outsider."

　　When Julie's little nephew was born, Julie wanted to give 1000 red envelopes. Julie's mother scolded her daughter: "This is your nephew and my grandson. As an aunt, you will give 1000 red envelopes. Are you embarrassed? At least 5,000. "

　　When Julie's mother was ill and hospitalized, her sister-in-law was busy with work and had no time to wait on her. Julie's mother made several phone calls and forced Julie, who was pregnant, to go home and wait on her: "A daughter who doesn't wait on her mother is unfilial."

　　When Julie was in confinement, her mother-in-law accidentally fell and couldn't take care of her. Julie called her mother, hoping that her mother would take care of herself for a month, but she refused directly: "It doesn't make sense to let her mother-in-law take care of her married daughter. Your sister-in-law will mind. Go to your mother-in-law."

　　"Anyway, when they need me and want to get benefits from me, I don't promise, which is unfilial. When I need them, it is the water spilled by my married daughter, and my family can't help it. "

　　03. My husband's words woke me up;

　　Julie's mother's double standard practice not only made Julie unacceptable, but also made her son-in-law angry.

　　On Julie's father's 60th birthday, Julie's husband was very angry at her mother-in-law's request for a gift of 5,000 yuan and had a heart-to-heart talk with his wife.

　　"Something you are their good daughter and sister, nothing is how far you can hide, wife, is this family really what you want? I think for your sake, I have helped your brother several times, and my mother is already dissatisfied. If this continues, the contradiction between your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will worsen. Who do you think I will help then? "

　　Julie's husband is very kind to his wife and has always spoiled her. He rushes to do housework at home and will arrange surprises every anniversary. The couple rarely quarrel.

　　Hearing her husband's complaints and thinking of her mother-in-law's ugly face, Julie made up her mind and began to dare to say no to her mother's unreasonable demands. When her mother scolded her, Julie replied that her words were so familiar: "I am an outsider and should consider my small family."

　　04. Facing my mother's request, my husband's maintenance made me both moved and sad;

　　New Year's Day is Julie's mother's birthday. Under her husband's persuasion, Julie returned to her family with her husband three days ago. At this time, Julie's brother-in-law's family of four, sister-in-law's parents and uncle's family all came back, and 15 people gathered at home.

　　Today is the 29 th day of the twelfth lunar month, and all the ingredients needed for the New Year's Eve dinner have been purchased. As soon as Julie got up, her mother came to talk to her daughter, saying that it was a heart-to-heart talk. In fact, she asked her daughter to do something for the family: "Look, good girl, your sister-in-law's parents are eating at my house this year. We can't let your sister-in-law prepare the New Year's Eve dinner in front of them!" Tomorrow, you will work harder and cook a New Year's Eve dinner for a large family to show your filial piety. "

　　"Mom wants me to prepare a dinner for 15 people, or a person. There has always been an unwritten rule in my family that men don't go down to the kitchen. My sister-in-law can't work, and my mother has to chat with her in-laws. Isn't that why I cook alone? How many dishes do you need to prepare? "

　　Julie's husband went upstairs to find his wife, and when he heard her mother-in-law's words, he came over: "Why should outsiders cook? Mom, don't you always say that my wife was spilled by her married daughter? In that case, my wife is a guest at home. Is there any reason for guests to cook? "

　　Julie's mother was speechless and didn't know how to answer. With her husband's support, Julie also got up the courage to face her mother: "Since I am an outsider, I just eat. If there is no place for me at home, I will go home with your son-in-law without adding pressure to you. "

　　Although Julie didn't make it, she hasn't said a word to her mother since morning, and the atmosphere has become more and more depressed.

　　05. Cherish those who are kind to you and stay away from those who will hurt you.

　　Huang Zhizhong said:

　　"Independent women are not independent of money, but dare to keep their distance from their families and dare to say no to things they don't agree with. This is true independence. "

　　Dare to say no to your parents' unreasonable demands and dare to stay away from those who will hurt you, which is an important prerequisite for your happiness. If you don't have the consciousness to protect yourself and protect your own interests, and you don't have enough courage to resist the unfair fate, no matter how sympathetic others are and how they want to help you, there is nothing you can do. If you want to grow up, you can live in a corner, and if you want to fall, the gods can't save you.

　　Just as there is such a classic line in the movie Godfather:

　　"Softness without boundaries will only make the other side push your luck; Kindness without principle will only let the other party do whatever they want. "

　　Love, hard-won, needs to be cherished by people. You are lucky to meet someone who loves you and loves you. Whether you can grasp your own blessings depends on your own performance.

　　Today's topic: What do you think of the sentence "The water spilled by the married daughter"? Welcome to share your opinions in the comments section.