In old age, don't be three kinds of parents, so as not to drag down your children and make your evening miserable.

　　Zeng zi said

　　"There are three kinds of filial piety: great respect for relatives, followed by humiliation, which can be raised."

　　Ceng Zi believes that there are three levels of filial piety to parents. The highest level is that you have made extraordinary achievements, so that your parents can be respected by people. The second level is to prevent your parents from being insulted. The lowest level is to let parents have a sense of security and spend their old age smoothly. The last level is the duty and obligation of children. If children can't even support their parents, people will poke their spine and scold them for being unfilial.

　　However, in some cases, the reason why the elderly are unhappy in their old age is not necessarily because their children are unfilial, but also because some behaviors of the elderly have caused great trouble to their children and made them not want to get close to them.

　　When people are old, don't be three kinds of parents, so as not to drag down their children and make their evening miserable.

　　1. Living in the children's house and wanting to control the power at home;

　　"My mother came to support the elderly for less than two months. I had three conflicts with my wife and almost drafted a divorce agreement. In desperation, I had to send my mother back. Now, people in my hometown are pointing fingers at me, saying that I live in a big house in the city, but I refuse to take my mother to enjoy life and be unfilial. Do they know how much my mother cheated her son? "

　　Mr. Fang's mother is used to frugality. When she sees her daughter-in-law dumping leftovers, she feels distressed and thinks it's no big deal to eat overnight food. She felt pain when she saw her daughter-in-law unpacking the courier, and thought that her daughter-in-law was a defeated woman; Daughter-in-law uses the washing machine, but she can't bear to pay for electricity and water, so she has to wash it by hand.

　　Mr. Fang's wife couldn't accept her mother-in-law's frugal way of spending money, turned a blind eye to her mother-in-law's request and went her own way. Mr. Fang's mother couldn't bear it. In order not to let her daughter-in-law continue to "lose her family", she cried and made trouble at home, asking her son and daughter-in-law to hand in their salary cards and let her take care of them.

　　"My mother asked my wife to hand over the salary card. How could my wife promise? They quarrel every day, and then they complain to me. I know my mother ignored me and tried to communicate with her, but she didn't listen to me. "

　　In the end, Mr. Fang sent his mother back to her hometown and kept her out of their lives.

　　Dealing with the relationship with children's spouses is the premise for the elderly to get a happy old age. Once you and your children's spouses get to the point where you can't live under the same roof, you can only choose one, either you leave, or your children's small family is fragmented and you lose your marriage.

　　When the old man lives in his son's house, he must respect his daughter-in-law, affirm her status as the hostess in the house, and don't think about doing everything, let alone controlling the income and expenditure of his son and daughter-in-law. This is a typical crossing, which is unacceptable to the daughter-in-law and infringes on her interests.

　　Children have their own ways and ideas. Old people can make suggestions, but they can't be forced to act according to their own ideas.

　　2. It is too willful to treat the kindness of children as a liver and lung;

　　"Some parents become old children when they are old, and they are grumpy and don't listen to a word of advice. I said him, he is still not happy. "

　　When it comes to her father, Ms. Xu feels very headache. Her father does things only for a moment, and acts completely according to his own ideas, regardless of the serious adverse consequences.

　　"When I went to the hospital for a physical examination, the doctor repeatedly asked him to quit smoking and control the amount of drinking. In order to force him to quit smoking, I asked my mother to take care of the money and not buy him cigarettes. He went straight to the familiar shop owner and asked my mother to pay the bill. He also hid cigarettes everywhere and burned several holes in the newly bought sofas at home. "

　　Besides drinking, the advice of the doctor and daughter is empty talk to Ms. Xu's father. As long as he attends the party, he will be as drunk as a fiddler. If you discourage him, he will be anxious and lose his temper with you.

　　Smelling the smell of choking smoke at home, seeing dad's medical report, listening to mom's sigh and dad's curse, Ms. Xu felt extremely collapsed: "When he really collapsed and regretted it too late, wasn't it me who suffered?" I can't help but wait on him and treat him! "

　　In old age, if you are too headstrong, ignore the advice of your children and doctors, stick to an unhealthy lifestyle and damage your health, you will not only be yourself, but also drag down your children.

　　The suffering of illness, the huge medical expenses, the fact that the sick elderly can't live without people for 24 hours, and the psychological torture of worrying about their loved ones are all burdens, all of which are the prices you need to pay for not paying attention to your health.

　　When you suffer from a disease that requires huge medical expenses, your children will often fall into a dilemma. Save them. You will not only empty your savings, but also be in debt. Your financial situation will plummet. You may also have conflicts with your spouse. If you don't save them, your conscience will be condemned and outsiders will talk about it.

　　Having a good body is the premise of getting a happy old age and not adding chaos to children.

　　3, have the ability to take care of themselves but completely expect their children to serve.

　　"My son married his wife, so I should enjoy it." With this idea, Aunt Tang, who is only 52 years old, lived a leisurely life of providing for the aged, leaving all the pressure on her son and daughter-in-law, which made her daughter-in-law Ms. He feel very dissatisfied.

　　"My mother-in-law has never paid social security, has no income, has no savings, lives with us, eats ours and drinks ours, and we have to give her pocket money of several hundred to one thousand yuan every month. The income of my husband and I together is only 12,000 yuan. We need to repay the mortgage and raise children. The pressure is already great."

　　Aunt Tang doesn't take grandchildren, does not do housework, goes to bed early and gets up early, and either goes to square dance or plays cards during the day. After a day's work, my son and daughter-in-law have to clean up the house, cook and coax the children, and feel exhausted.

　　"I don't sweep my room, the washing machine is there, just throw the clothes in and press the switch, and she doesn't care. Either wait for me to cook dinner or eat it out, so I'm too lazy to help myself. She's not paralyzed. Why should she expect me to wait on her? "

　　For most young people, the status quo is that their income is only enough to support their families. Mortgage and children's expenses have caused great pressure on them. If parents have no savings and rely entirely on their children to provide for the elderly, the pressure on young people will be even greater.

　　Saving money is a wonderful way to protect your old age. While you are still in good health, try to make some money and handle your own affairs well. Even if you don't want to help your children and take care of your grandchildren, don't wait for your children to serve you, adding a greater burden to them.

　　Life is not easy. A family needs to be considerate of each other's difficulties. Don't be too headstrong and bring countless troubles to their loved ones. Once you have exhausted your affection and cheated each other, it will be difficult for you to be happy in your later years.