＂We are short of people and children, and we are short of money to buy a house. Who will my parents not help？＂ She's just my dad's wife.

　　Wu Zhihong, a psychologist, wrote in Love and Love in Chinese Style: All kinds of unlovable things in marriage come from "you give me" instead of "I love you"-not that there is something wrong with marriage, but that you want too much from it.

　　Whether men or women, the purpose of marriage is the same, that is, to pursue happiness, not to add to their own difficulties. Since it is the pursuit of happiness, I definitely hope I can get what I want. A good marriage requires mutual benefit and win-win, and pays attention to the balance between supply and demand. I have paid and I have to be rewarded, not that I sacrificed everything to fulfill your personal interests.

　　In marriage, you can and must ask for what belongs to you, or you will be ignored by the other party and not take you seriously. Don't covet things that don't belong to you, such as those belonging to the other family.

　　However, after many people get married, they will not only reach out to their spouses, but also cause constant trouble to their spouses' families. They can't wait for their spouses' whole family to turn around him and meet all his needs, and threaten their spouses' parents with the matter of providing for the elderly if they disagree.

　　Wang Zijian, the host, once said: I didn't know until I grew up that I should try not to bother others, and others had better not bother me. This sentence is not indifference, but maturity.

　　No matter how good-tempered and generous people are, they can't stand you who are constantly troublesome and have no self-knowledge.

　　"Your dad's wife depends on us to support the elderly, help us bring the baby and borrow 200,000 to buy a house. Shouldn't it?"

　　Recently, 34-year-old Mr. Xue fell out with his wife, who thought he didn't understand his difficulties. Mr. Xue thought his wife was too selfish and didn't consider the difficulties of his family at all. The two men refused to give in to each other, and the marriage turned red.

　　01. After my mother died, my father has been depressed. I asked him to find a wife, just hoping that he would be happy.

　　The contradiction between Mr. Xue and his wife is related to one person, that is, Mr. Xue's father married his wife who came home only six months ago.

　　Mr. Xue's father is 63 years old. Five years ago, Mr. Xue's mother died of illness. Since then, Mr. Xue's father has lived a solitary life.

　　"I had hoped that my father would live with us and help us take care of the children and do some housework. However, my wife didn't want to say that my father was sloppy and loved smoking, and it was not convenient to live with my father-in-law. Actually, my dad is not sloppy! He has the ability to take care of himself, can cook and do housework, and keeps himself clean. Smoking does exist. However, after I advised him several times, he became less addicted to smoking and would not smoke in front of my wife. "

　　Mr. Xue's father didn't want to go to his son's house, fearing that he had a conflict with his daughter-in-law, and his son was difficult to do, so Mr. Xue had to leave him alone in his hometown.

　　However, after Mr. Xue's father retired, his life was very lonely, and he had no other hobbies. All day long, he just wandered around and watched TV. Mr. Xue couldn't bear it and worried that he would have a problem living alone, so Mr. Xue began to persuade his father to find someone.

　　"Dad, this all what age, like you this age to remarry a catch a handful, what's ridiculous? Don't worry, as long as you are fine, I promise to respect my aunt. If we are unreasonable, you have to protect her and scold us. Anyway, as long as you are good, I will be relieved and can work hard outside with peace of mind. "

　　Mr. Xue tried hard to persuade him for a while, and his relatives helped him. Finally, Mr. Xue's father was moved and accepted the blind date arrangement.

　　Six months ago, Mr. Xue's father met his wife, Aunt Tang. Aunt Tang is 61 years old, divorced for many years, and her only daughter died unfortunately, leaving her alone. Mr. Xue's father and Aunt Tang hit it off at once, and they got together, got a license, held a banquet and got Mr. Xue's blessing.

　　02. After the next year, it's okay for her not to do housework when she is pregnant, but she shouldn't be in trouble with her aunt.

　　On the 24th of the twelfth lunar month, Mr. Xue had a holiday with his wife, and rushed back to his hometown with his 4-year-old daughter to celebrate the New Year with his father and Aunt Tang.

　　Speaking of the Chinese New Year, Mr. Xue is already dissatisfied with his wife: "My wife is pregnant for five months, and it is very hard. I know this. Therefore, after she returns home, she spends most of her time playing with her mobile phone upstairs and does not do housework. We can all understand that who will ask a pregnant woman to do housework?"

　　However, after his wife arrived home, she complained to Mr. Xue's father and Aunt Tang.

　　"Dad, aunt, where is my favorite shrimp? Why didn't you buy it? Only bought your son's favorite eel? "

　　After listening to his wife's words, Aunt Tang explained that she ran three times and didn't buy shrimp. Let her forgive me and eat something else.

　　"My wife is unhappy. I think my dad and Aunt Tang are reluctant to pay for it. I think shrimp is too expensive. I have been whispering for a long time. I saw that Aunt Tang's face has become ugly. Considering that she is pregnant, she drove to buy it herself. I really didn't buy it. It's not that they fooled her. However, my wife didn't believe it and complained to me."

　　Also, on the first day of New Year's Day, Aunt Tang gave Mr. Xue's daughter a lucky money package and gave her 500 yuan. Mr. Xue's daughter-in-law didn't look good either, and thought it was too little: "She has a pension of 2,500, and she still works, and her salary is more than 4,000. If she adds up to more than 6,000, she will give her 500. It's too stingy!"

　　Mr. Xue's father also felt that his daughter-in-law's behavior was inappropriate, and he looked for his son privately. Mr. Xue had to apologize to his father and hope that they would not care about the pregnant woman for the sake of the child in her belly.

　　03. She's just my dad's wife. Why should she help us take care of the baby and pay for our house?

　　However, on the fourth day of the Lunar New Year, Mr. Xue's daughter-in-law made two demands to Aunt Tang in front of the whole family, which made Mr. Xue really unbearable.

　　"We are short of people and children, and we are short of money to buy a house. Who will my parents not help?" It turned out that Mr. Xue's daughter-in-law considered two things and thought that Aunt Tang needed help.

　　The first thing, that is, after the baby in her belly is born, who will take it.

　　"When my daughter was born, my mother was gone, and she didn't want my dad to come and take it, so she had to quit her job. I paid all my salary and let her take her daughter. This time, she didn't want to resign, saying that she already had a mother-in-law and someone took a baby. Therefore, I hope Aunt Tang will live with us and help us take care of the children. "

　　The second thing is to change the house.

　　"Our house is a two-bedroom apartment. We bought it in full at the beginning and added children. We certainly can't live in the future. We also want to buy a bigger house and save money. If we don't want to borrow money, we are still short of 200,000."

　　So, Mr. Xue's wife made a request to Aunt Tang, asking Aunt Tang to move in, help with the baby, and lend them 200,000 to buy a house. After listening to this, Aunt Tang only said two words: "No way."

　　After being rejected, Mr. Xue's wife was angry and said plausibly to her husband: "Your father's wife depends on us to support the elderly, help us take care of the baby, and borrow 200,000 yuan to help us buy a house. Shouldn't it?"

　　Mr. Xue's daughter-in-law believes that Aunt Tang has no children and no daughters, and she married her father-in-law. She will definitely rely on them to provide for the elderly in the future. Since she needs their help, she should help them first.

　　"She is just my father's wife, not my mother, not this obligation. If you go on like this, you will annoy her, they will divorce, and my father will be single again. What will he do in his later years? Can you think about my dad? "

　　"Then can you think about it for me and our children? Why do I have to quit my job and take care of the children? Why do you have to live in such a small house? "

　　Mr. Xue was very annoyed that the husband and wife had a big fight and refused to give way to each other.

　　04. In marriage, neither man nor woman should be self-righteous.

　　There is a saying in "Caigen Tan": If you take advantage of personnel, you will suffer from the loss of Heaven; Greedy for the benefits of the world will inevitably lead to the loss of sex.

　　In marriage, no matter men or women, they should not be self-righteous, greedy and constantly demanding from each other.

　　When the other party marries you, he has the obligation to be kind to you. However, there is a limit to this kindness. He should fulfill the responsibilities entrusted to him by marriage. As for the rest, he can only do what he can, not what he wants.

　　As for his family, they should give you respect and shouldn't give you any trouble. However, they don't owe you anything, have no obligation to give you whatever you want, and have no obligation to sacrifice everything to fulfill your desires.

　　Ming Chen once said, "No one sex submits to the other sex, only the two of us submit to the rules we made together. This is submission to us."

　　What marriage requires is not that one side gives in blindly and the other side pushes its luck, but that both sides have common interests, understand each other's concessions and work together to achieve this goal. If you don't understand, your desire may ruin your marriage.

　　Today's topic: Do you think Mr. Xue's daughter-in-law is asking too much? Welcome to share your opinions in the comments section.