Psychologist Wu Shuai： Husband doesn't listen to you？ What should we do？

　　Q: Hello, Dr. Wu, do you have any good methods for psychological problems? Adult men are lying in their nests, gnawing at the old at home, and always yelling at their families. Self-righteous, wrong epidemic prevention methods and not listening to advice, leading to the elderly at home infected with COVID-19 and danger. How can we make him change and stop bringing epidemic prevention risks to his family? Many times a day, he scolds his family for being an idiot and an asshole. In fact, it turns out that he is the one, and he lacks patience with the elderly. If the elderly can't hear clearly, he will yell and scream twice. Like a madman, all his family members are anxious and nervous. Every day, they stay up late watching TV and playing mobile phones, doing nothing, affecting others' rest in the middle of the night, and always scolding others for being stupid if they don't listen, especially for those who are much better than him at home. Is it caused by inferiority? There is also a problem with the way of thinking. What should I do?

　　From your description, I can see his growth with negative energy, lacking methodology and positive motivation, so the greater the psychological pressure.

　　"Stay up late watching TV and playing mobile phone", the signal is-I'm so annoyed, but I can't do anything, and I don't know how to get help!

　　If you don't listen, you always scold others for being stupid, especially for those who are much better than him in the family (one mouth is scolding)-attack is the best defense, afraid of criticism, afraid of taking responsibility, sensitive and suspicious.

　　As the other half, 24 hours a day. Each other's problems will become our problems. The pain of the other party will become our pain. If the other person doesn't grow up, it will become my poison.

　　You can see these problems because of the sense of responsibility and the driving force of growth. Otherwise, he will rot, he will fall, he will be stupid, and I will do nothing. Let's all sink together. You vaguely saw the danger of this family not growing up, so you came to the hospital with a good motivation to solve the problem.

　　Ask, what do you want? Secondly, what specific problems do you want to solve? Third, how can I make a good timetable to solve the problem and get the results? The teacher on the sidelines is clearer. Dr. Wu will comb it for you!

　　What you want-family harmony and happiness, you want him to grow up positively, and you want your physical, mental and emotional health.

　　The problem you want to solve-1. Your physical, mental and emotional stability and health, solve your own problems, why do I put solving your problems in the first place? Because your emotional guidance and growth are relatively easier, because you have this attitude and sense of responsibility. Isn't the principle of doing things easy to difficult? Secondly, when you grow up, you can drive and help him grow together. It is internal logic that getting rich first can drive getting rich later, and "poor people" can't drive the poor to get rich. 2. Help him grow spiritually and responsibly. The premise of help is still that you have enough energy, including subjective spirit and objective methodology. We call it the combination of form and spirit. 3. Create a harmonious and happy family culture and rules, so that each member is willing to undertake their own family responsibilities.

　　From the bottom of my heart, it is hard for people to change themselves by themselves. For two reasons, one is because you can't always see your own problems and shortcomings. The second is man-made bias inertia, which likes to amplify other people's faults. The closer people are, the more inclined they are. Including myself. -We summarize this phenomenon as "doctors don't treat themselves", which means that it is difficult for me to solve my own problems in a real sense and I can't do without the help of others.

　　Because of this, we need the role of psychological doctor to help you grow up, understand the essence of growth from different dimensions, and gain the courage, self-confidence, methodology and mental improvement of growth. We call this unity the increase of "personal charm and flexible energy". A person is unwilling to grow and change, because he has not tasted the sweetness of growth. I once said that growth is a very happy and happy thing. If you can't experience it, you are not on the right road.

　　People will not grow up because of pain. If growth makes a person feel pain, this person will probably give up growth. Your health is getting better and better, your mood is getting more stable, you are getting more beautiful and charming, and your wisdom is getting higher and higher. The key point is that you are more and more able to link with the happiness channel.

　　His heart will definitely follow you. Because he knows that if he doesn't make progress, he may lose such a good you. If he doesn't grow up, he doesn't deserve this charming you.

　　It is easy for a man to surrender and listen to a woman he likes and likes more and more. This woman is attractive, intelligent and responsible. Why not listen to her wholeheartedly?

　　On the contrary, you stop the increase of charm value and energy value, which means that he also stops the growth of your liking. You don't care, he doesn't care, why do you want to grow up?

　　I tell you, men are animals who like the new and hate the old, without exception! You don't want to face a fixed face every day, do you?

　　A woman who is spiritually independent and can spread the charm of her thoughts is called a goddess!

　　A woman who has lost her spirit and stepped into the trap of spiritual internal friction and subjectivism can easily fall into the pit of unfortunate marriage.

　　The instinct of the poor is to learn from the rich, so is the material and the spirit, and the driving force behind it is self-help.

　　He doesn't listen to you because he doesn't see your "spare capacity" in mental energy!