Fan consultation： My husband is too close to his female colleague. Should I divorce him？

　　My husband got too close to his former colleagues, so I lost my temper with him and asked him to blacken the two unmarried girls and cut off contacts with those colleagues.

　　In fact, he has a good relationship with his colleagues, and I don't object to it, but once two of the girls took photos with him, and he took my colleagues to play at home while I was away, thinking that my absence would not affect me.

　　When I was in the second trimester, he also said that I had depression during pregnancy and lost my temper. My mother scolded me before apologizing to me. Last night, I checked his cell phone for the last time. He packaged himself so well that it seemed all my fault.

　　He also told many things about us to his friends, and his image was well maintained, which made me a mess. I have few friends, and his friends are many and miscellaneous. I don't know how to make up with him if my mother wasn't there that day.

　　I'm going to stop looking at his mobile phone in the future. The more I look at it, the angrier I get, the more uncomfortable I feel. I can't manage his affairs. I feel I don't know him anymore and want to get a divorce. What should I do?

　　If you also have emotional troubles, you can privately trust me with the word "Consultation" on the homepage, and the talented person will analyze and solve it for you ~

　　Emotional mentor wit answer:

　　Hello! From your description, the teacher can feel your grievances. At present, you are pregnant, and when you find that your husband has no sense of boundaries with the opposite sex, you have a strong anger and insecurity, and even want to divorce, which makes you feel very painful.

　　Then, in response to your question, the teacher will share some of my views and suggestions, hoping to inspire you.

　　First of all, you need to take care of your emotions.

　　The mother and the baby in the belly are one, and your baby can feel your emotions. If you are in a bad mood for a long time, it will not only affect your own health, but also have a bad influence on your baby's growth and development.

　　Although it may not be easy for you, you still need to keep your mind as steady as possible, which is very important for you and your baby. After all, it must be your wish as a mother-to-be to have a healthy baby.

　　When you feel depressed and unhappy, you can talk to people you trust, such as your husband, mother or friends. This is also an effective way to relieve negative emotions.

　　Secondly, you need to establish good communication with your husband. You can try the "non-violent communication method".

　　For the way your husband makes friends, you can't accept that he is too close to colleagues of the opposite sex, which will make you feel neglected and that your husband is cold to you.

　　At the same time, in front of your friends, your husband said that you were bad and didn't pay enough attention to and maintain your image, which made you feel angry and disrespected.

　　In fact, your feelings are normal, but in interpersonal communication, everyone's boundaries and bottom lines are different, which is why there will be conflicts between you.

　　So how to solve it?

　　It is to understand each other's boundaries in interpersonal relationships, and then try to reach a consensus. Only when the boundaries are consistent can these contradictions be resolved.

　　"Non-violent communication method" is divided into four parts: expressing facts+expressing feelings+expressing needs+making requests.

　　That is to say, to express what you want to say without accusations and personal emotions.

　　For example, if you are very concerned about the intimate photo of your husband and female colleagues, you can try to say this:

　　"I saw you and your female colleague taking a face-to-face photo. I felt very uncomfortable and a little jealous. I hope you won't do this again next time. I really need your closeness. I hope you can spend more time with me and care more about my feelings while making friends. "

　　Expressing your own feelings and needs in this way, rather than blaming and criticizing the other party, will be more acceptable to the other party.

　　I believe that after saying this, your husband will understand your feelings. The same is true about his saying that you are not good in front of friends. You can try nonviolent communication.

　　Finally, you need to respect each other.

　　You mentioned that your husband has many friends, and you don't know him. In fact, you can try to enter his circle of friends and understand his world, which will help you to enhance your sense of control over him. The connection between you will be closer, the intimacy will deepen, and you will feel more secure.

　　His way of making friends must not have suddenly formed in a short period of time, and it may have been like this before.

　　You can also review his previous ways of communication. How did you get along before you got pregnant? His enthusiasm, cheerfulness, and talkativeness, was it once an attractive trait for you?

　　It's just that pregnancy has limited you now, and he can still have fun every day, but you can't, which will make you feel a sense of gap. You can listen to his feelings and needs, and you can face the problems in the relationship together and find solutions.

　　In marriage, two people need to respect each other, communicate more and understand each other, so that their feelings can develop steadily for a long time.

　　It's not easy for two people to come to this day. We must keep calm and look at the contradictions in marriage rationally. Don't make a decision easily. I believe you can handle it well. Come on!

　　If you also have emotional troubles, you can privately trust me with the word "Consultation" on the homepage, and the talented person will analyze and solve it for you ~