Changing others is internal friction, and changing yourself is growth.

　　Heard a word:

　　"People, the more you want to change others, the more trouble you get; The less you want to change others, the quieter you are. "

　　Come to think of it carefully, it is true.

　　Some things, the more importunate, the more easily trapped by them;

　　Some people, the more they want to change, the more likely it is to backfire;

　　Some relationships, the harder they are, the more likely they are to conflict.

　　Later, I realized that instead of choosing to change other people's thoughts and make myself feel lost, it is better to return to myself and find inner richness.

　　As psychologist jung said:

　　Don't try to change other people's minds. All you can do is just shine your light and your heat like the sun.

　　In the second half of my life, I don't pursue anything outside, I don't want to be impetuous, and I try to be a heart-to-heart person.

　　Fu Seoul shared a story in "Qipa Shuo":

　　After getting married, she couldn't get used to her husband Liu's lack of progress all day, so she tried to change each other.

　　Under her urging, Lao Liu tried all kinds of jobs, but they all ended in failure.

　　After successive blows, Lao Liu became unhappy, and the original happy atmosphere at home disappeared.

　　Fu Seoul discovered that money and fame are far less important than the happiness of her husband and the laughter of her family.

　　From then on, she completely gave up the idea of changing her husband.

　　In life, we always like to plan the future for others and point out the country with our own cognition.

　　As everyone knows, everyone has their own way of living. If you interfere excessively, it will backfire.

　　As San Mao said:

　　For other people's lives, at best, we are only a hint, a small revelation, which enriches other people's lives in some cases, rather than acting on their behalf beyond their authority.

　　A person's greatest wisdom is to resist the desire to correct others.

　　Not long ago, Dong Yuhui blamed himself in the live broadcast room, saying that his brother's difficulties in life now were all caused by him.

　　It turned out that my brother used to work in his hometown. Although it was relatively easy, his income was not high.

　　When Dong Yuhui saw this, he suggested that his younger brother resign and go to a big city to sharpen it.

　　However, he lacked work experience and the salary he could get was very meager.

　　As a result, he not only didn't make a lot of money, but also couldn't afford the rent. Finally, he had to go back to his hometown in despair.

　　In reality, why don't we always point out people around us with the idea of "being good for you".

　　The longer you spend, the more you will find that no matter how sincere you are, you will not get the gratitude of others.

　　As "Caigen Tan" said:

　　"Don't use your own standards as a basis for criticizing others."

　　Trying to change the direction of the wind and move the position of the mountain is essentially futile.

　　Just as we try our best to encourage others' behavior, in the end, it will only hurt ourselves.

　　When we turn our attention to ourselves, we will gradually let go of those so-called troubles, which are just our own obsession.

　　Life is never about pointing out who, but about taking your own path.

　　It is often said that people are motivated when they are recognized by the outside world.

　　Indeed, maintaining a sense of self-worth in life is a kind of wisdom.

　　But it is more important to understand that others' affirmation is lucky, and inner satisfaction is calm.

　　Wang Huiling once told his story in "Grassroots Women":

　　No matter how much she achieved, as long as she didn't have children, in the eyes of her parents, she always failed.

　　My mother often complains about her: "A woman's life will not be complete without children."

　　At first, Wang Huiling tried various methods to gain the understanding of his parents, but to no avail.

　　Later, she deliberately reduced contact with her parents, learned to heal herself, and her heart was much more peaceful.

　　Kazuo inamori said: "In this life, people are not seeking outward, but growing inward."

　　The answers that can really solve the problem are actually in our hearts.

　　Being a person who keeps exploring inward can lead a transparent and deep life.

　　Grandma Yoko Nakamura, a Japanese writer, once shared a life experience:

　　After the marriage, her husband exposed his drinking nature.

　　After work every night, the husband will drink late into the night with a group of drinkers, regardless of the living expenses at home.

　　Several times, she threatened her husband with divorce papers, but he just promised and didn't take any action.

　　Realizing this, Grandma Hengzi decided not to change her husband, but to focus more on improving her self-worth.

　　Just like the "wish projection effect" mentioned in psychology, we always impose our subjective wishes and good hopes on each other.

　　But forget that everyone has their own life choices, and we can't control them at all.

　　When we can accept the shortcomings of others, the initiative in life truly becomes our own.

　　Only in this way can we continue to sum up, improve our energy and work hard towards our goals.

　　Actor Sun Li in the 9th wedding anniversary, once felt:

　　My husband is a night owl. He likes to chat with people every day, but he is just the opposite.

　　A few years ago, Sun Li often felt that her marriage was full of loneliness and grievances, but later she realized that it was doomed to be painful to expect others to do things according to their own wishes.

　　Therefore, she no longer asks her husband, but actively arranges her life after filming.

　　Visiting parks, doing handicrafts, growing vegetables, painting and reading Buddhist scriptures are very busy.

　　In fact, there has never been a so-called shackle in this world. Only ourselves can really bind us.

　　If you care too much about external distractions and don't know how to seek the stability of the kernel, you will only live and sink.

　　The following three tips are for you. I hope you can grow, change yourself and blossom upwards.

　　1. Respect others and lower expectations.

　　"Allow yourself to waste time" wrote:

　　I gradually understand why I am unhappy, because I am always expecting a result.

　　Read a book and expect it to make me profound; Eat and swim, expecting it to make me lose a catty; Be kind to others and expect to be treated well.

　　Blindly asking others to be consistent with themselves is just drawing a picture for the prison.

　　Really powerful people know how to respect the three views of others, lower their expectations and accept every possibility.

　　2. Pay attention to yourself and gain happiness.

　　A person always wants to reform others, but in essence he can't pay attention to his own performance.

　　There is a way to find inner needs in Cognitive Awakening, which is meditation.

　　For example, meditating for 15 minutes every morning can help us calm down and feel our existence and strength.

　　Over time, we can better understand ourselves, recognize ourselves and pay attention to our feelings.

　　3. Reduce complaints and accumulate energy.

　　Li Shutong said: "People must stop complaining and seek inward. Don't look at other people's mistakes. What you see is your cause and effect."

　　People who don't complain are allowed to have flexible space and reduce the feeling of being surrounded by fear.

　　People who don't complain know how to take their time, and those situations that are difficult to change will be relaxed by a gentle attitude.

　　Teacher Zhang Defen once said:

　　"Happiness really does not depend on external conditions, but on people's hearts."

　　Real growth never extends outward, but explores inward.

　　In your spare time, enrich your heart, and all the happiness you want is on your way.

　　I have heard that life is divided into three stages:

　　When I was a child, I felt that I would grow up to be a hero and change the world.

　　When I grow up, I find that I can't change the world, and I just want to change others all day;

　　Now, I finally understand the truth that only myself can change in life.

　　We focus some good expectations on others more or less, but it seems simple to change others, but in fact it is very difficult.

　　Instead of hollowing out your mind to transform others, try to actively adjust yourself.

　　When we change, we will find that others have changed and everything around us has changed.

　　I hope that each of us can let nature take its course, grow up slowly, and get closer to the better self a little bit.

　　Above, encourage each other.

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